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Questionnaire: SBP candidate Nash Keune

The Daily Tar Heel's editorial board posed these questions to each of the candidates. Here are their unedited responses:

Q: What is your philosophy regarding tuition? (out-of-state vs. in-state)

A: I believe that no UNC student should ever have to pay a cent in tuition. To abolish tuition, we will need to cut costs. To save water, the campus eliminated trays two years ago. I will save more water by converting campus dining halls to plate less dining. Also, to eliminate flyers and save a few trees, I will hire skywriters for all student organizations and their needs.

We will also need to raise revenues. The main way the Nash administration will raise money is through a school-wide bake sale. On top of that, even our most expensive projects have ways to cut costs or raise revenues. For example, the narwhal tank that I’m going to build on the first floor of Davis will lead to an inevitable tourism and merchandise boon.

If all else fails, I think the students at inferior schools in the UNC system should fund our education. After all, we’re going to be paying a disproportionate amount of taxes after we graduate, on top of running the companies they work at and governing the states they live in. They should gratefully pay us back by financing our superior educations.

Q: What are the biggest issues facing UNC this year? How will you address them?


A: One of the biggest issues for UNC is diversity and tolerance. I love being a Tar Heel. I love being a student at UNC. But one thing I don’t exactly love is living in Chapel Hill. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think the city itself is the best college town ever. What I don’t like is the name “Chapel Hill.” As I wrote in my platform, Chapel Hill carries too much of a normative view of Christianity. To accommodate and welcome all sorts of people, I advocate that the name be changed to “Unaffiliated House of Worship and Secular Community Temple Mosque Center Hill.” After all, we can’t truly learn with each other until we begin to learn from each other.

Also, I want to strengthen UNC’s academics. I oppose grade inflation. Rather, I am in favor of grade hyperinflation (I dream of UNC becoming the Zimbabwe of grade inflation). Further, I believe that students need encouragement in the morning as they go to face an academically rigorous day. Therefore, I will make the daily crosswords in the DTH easier, so that students will be more likely to solve them in a timely manner, thus giving them the self-confidence needed to excel. Finally, I dream of expanding UNC’s study abroad option by putting a student on the moon within the next decade. This will be a difficult task. We choose to go to the moon in this decade, not because it is easy, but because it is hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win.

Q: Do you see the student body president position as a representative of students or as a trustee of the long-term well-being of UNC? How will you balance these interests?

My first and only responsibility as SBP will be to represent the students of UNC. The other candidates will ask for you, “The People,” to vote for them, the politician. I do things a little bit differently. When I think of myself, I include every student at UNC in that. And when I think of you, I include myself in that too. Your interests are my interests. Your hopes are my hopes. And your dreams? They’re my dreams too. So, for me it isn’t so much about “you” electing “me.” It’s about “we” electing “us.” It’s for that reason that I have appointed every student at UNC, even my so-called opponents (I hate to use the word “opponents,” because aren’t we all in this together?) as one of his campaign managers. I’ve adopted “Elect Yourself” as my campaign motto as a way of embodying this inclusive spirit.

Q: Why is the SBP important?


A: The SBP is only as important as the projects he or she chooses to pursue. An administration is only as important as their platform is ambitious. I don’t want to go too negative, but I don’t think the other candidates’ platforms are ambitious enough. None of them are even 500 pages long. NOT EVEN 500 PAGES!?! Mine is 680. You can be sure that a Nash administration will be very important. We will be constantly building so many new projects (the Roy Dome, the narwhal tank, a Bojangles on Polk Place etc.) that students won’t be able to forget we’re there, even if you want to.

Q: Why are you running?


A: I am running for Student Body President because I think that the student body at UNC wants a new kind of leader, a leader who knows what they care about. You don’t want a candidate from the small minority in the student government establishment, who has become disconnected from the life and concerns of the average student at Carolina, but a candidate who lies outside the corrupt and disconnected clique of student politicians at UNC. I am that candidate.

Some might say that I am too inexperienced to serve as Student Body President. My so-called opponents have served in Student Congress or on important committees. On the other hand, I have absolutely no student government experience. To these people I say that I might not have my own personal experience in student government to fall back on, but I have the far more beneficial experience of empathy. I understand the struggles and hardships that confront every UNC student. In a way, in a very important way, my empathy enables me to call upon the experiences of over 17,000 undergraduates.

Q: As an SBP candidate, critique the Jones administration. What has it done that you like? What has it done that you dislike?

A: I really agree with Jasmin Jones’s fight against building a bridge over South Road. But, she and I oppose the bridge for different reasons. She questions its “cost, practicality, appearance and effect on pedestrian safety” (David Reidell. “UNC bridge to foot traffic?” Daily Tar Heel [Chapel Hill] 19 October 2009). On the other hand, I support the intention of the bridge over South Road, I just don’t think it goes far enough. Many students will probably avoid the bridge, especially during peak hours when it will be most crowded. Therefore, I plan to build a dome over every road on campus, named after Roy Williams. Cars will drive through the tunnel under the dome while students safely cross over the top. The Roy Dome itself will be made of solar panels, to provide UNC with a clean source of renewable energy.

Bonfire policy. Celebrating by jumping over bonfires on Franklin St. is an essential part of the UNC experience. Compare the following sentences: “Hey grandkid, did I ever tell you about the time we won the National Championship then ran to Franklin Street to listen to jump over fires?” Versus: “Hey, grandkid, did I ever tell you about the time we won the National Championship then ran to Franklin Street to listen to some music?” A Nash Administration will institute compulsory bonfire jumping after every major win.

Q: What do you see as the SBP's main responsibility?


A: My first and only responsibility as SBP will be to represent the students of UNC. The other candidates will ask for you, “The People,” to vote for them, the politician. I do things a little bit differently. When I think of myself, I include every student at UNC in that. And when I think of you, I include myself in that too. Your interests are my interests. Your hopes are my hopes. And your dreams? They’re my dreams too. So, for me it isn’t so much about “you” electing “me.” It’s about “we” electing “us.” It’s for that reason that I have appointed every student at UNC, even my so-called opponents (I hate to use the word “opponents,” because aren’t we all in this together?) as one of his campaign managers. I’ve adopted “Elect Yourself” as my campaign motto as a way of embodying this inclusive spirit.

I am legally obligated to say that ex-Student Congress Speaker Joe Levin-Manning is not included in this group. I am legally obligated to say that ex-Student Congress Speaker Joe Levin-Manning is not included in this group.











 

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