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The Daily Tar Heel

Having the very awkward sex talk

Masturbation, penetration and the other sexy actions that lie between, above and under seem to attract a string of awkward reactions among college students.

When I talk about safe sex to my first-year residents, it inspires schoolyard giggles or uncomfortable silences. If I feel compelled to chat about masturbation, I can engage only with a handful of close friends who have become used to my openness about sex conversations.

Particularly among my friends who identify as women, masturbation is spoken of in whispers or in clinical terms, propelling it to a taboo stigma or a health diagnosis.

Sex, as I understand it, can take a variety of forms with a variety of players. It is also quite the popular phenomenon.

Studies show that about 47 percent of high school students have had sexual intercourse, with 15 percent of those surveyed having had sex with four or more people during their lifetime. This number increases when youth enter post-secondary institutions (i.e. UNC and the workforce).

Why is it, then, that an awkward tension develops from talking about such a popular act?

I could blame this country’s Puritan roots, or the recent rise in Evangelicalism or even its underlying patriarchy, but those are too easy and inequitable of scapegoats.

In truth (my truth), I think that a variety of factors — from religion to ethnic culture to gender and beyond — form what I deem a destructive perception of sex in our lives.

Destructive is a strong term, but like any good sex aficionado, I have tools to back me up.

Research suggests that young people tend to be naive and irresponsible in their sexual behavior. Nearly half of the 19 million new sexually transmitted diseases each year are among young people between the ages of 15 to 24.

College’s dirtiest little secret is not this statistic but rather the suppressing of the discourse that this number sparks.

Perhaps if we chatted more about our penises, vaginas and anuses, as well as how they can most responsibly be pleased, we would have less STDs and more orgasms.

Being more proactive and reactive to your sexual health is also important.

Every starry-eyed and horny member of our youth should be using condoms and getting sexual health screenings regularly. Using condoms can prevent you from answering uncomfortable questions, such as, “Why does it hurt when I pee?” or “Why haven’t I gotten my period yet?”

Though sexual health screenings can be incredibly awkward (At my last visit to Campus Health Services, I giggled in response to the question, “Are you anally receptive or anally penetrative?”), they are crucial in promoting sexual health awareness.

In order to keep enjoying all things sexy, we must embrace the awkward struggle in taking care of our sexual health, both physically and mentally.

Jagir Patel is a columnist from The Daily Tar Heel. He is a senior religious studies major from Boynton Beach, Fla. Contact him at jagirdpatel@gmail.com.

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