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The Daily Tar Heel

Hey, we’re going to Syria!

	Memet Walker

Memet Walker

You know the saying: As the DTH opinion page goes, so goes the nation.

As a columnist, any time I hear the drumbeat of war growing, I consider it my ethical duty to carefully reflect on the human costs before publicly endorsing any kind of military interven— oh, who am I kidding, where do you need me and what are we wearing?

Yes, America’s finally going to war! I was really beginning to wonder if I’d ever see it in my lifetime. And just in time, because I’m telling you, if I had to write one more column on student government, I was going to sarin gas myself.

Leading the charge is President Barack Obama, and just because I wholeheartedly supported him in the last election, doesn’t mean I support every one of his policies. It’s important for me to separate those personal feelings from my opinion writing, and leave them where they belong: hidden subliminally in my straight news reporting.

That’s why I’m giving you this plain: There’s this country called Syria. It’s in the Middle East, or Asia. Or Europe. Who knows — the important thing is, it’s Muslim.

Besides oil, Syria is known for its rich, traditional Arab culture, which includes a love of fine cuisine, soccer and dancing — like the Dabkeh, where the woman places her hands on her partner’s shoulders, and then she’s jailed for being promiscuous.

But it isn’t all fun and games. From time to time, Syria’s leader has reportedly been using chemical weapons against his own people. And now we have to stop him.

Obama has even agreed to seek congressional approval, sending Secretary of State John Kerry to testify before the Foreign Relations committee.

Some noted the irony of Kerry — who made his name as a Vietnam veteran testifying against U.S. atrocities he saw committed in war — leading the charge for a new war in front of Congress. Others noted the irony of a hideous, talking, half-tree creature testifying at all.

As for Obama — who made his name leading the charge against the Iraq War — a lot of people have made comparisons between this and that conflict. How do we really know they have weapons? Will we get bogged down in a long war again? Will we have an exit plan? If this were President George W. Bush, would people be as supportive?

The important difference is, if this were Bush’s idea, it would sound really, really dumb.

Besides, we lose our credibility if we back off now. Who will believe our willingness to fight, except maybe the Iraqis, Afghans, Vietnamese, Somalis, Koreans, Libyans, Sudanese, Yugoslavians, Germans, Japanese, Panamanians, Italians, Spanish, British and Native Americans?

Besides, when it comes to sending Americans to the front lines in harm’s way, it’s never the president or Congress who have to pull the trigger: It’s their children’s robots.

At the very least, we’ll get Obama’s drones out of the U.S.

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