Kvetching Board for January 31, 2014

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

UNC: The only place where an inch of snow means a line for Instagrams at the Old Well #snOMG

At least we can tell our kids that in our time we had to walk a mile in the snow to get to class … Thanks UNC.

To all the people stocking up on milk and bread: I hope your milk sandwiches are delicious.

Art falling off the walls in Davis, and I thought I could only find “Things Fall Apart” in the book racks.

Dear housemates: This extended dog-sitting is making me dread chocolate lab as much as orgo lab. Sincerely, the heartless one.

School’s in, and Carol Folt’s singing “Let it Go” on a mountain somewhere.

SBP campaign week: When 99 percent of profile pictures are pictures of 1 percent of the student population.

Are there any organizations fighting to bring Taco Bell to campus? That petition would get 10,000 signatures in no time. #LiveMas

To the fit Alpine worker: Forget the bagel, I want to lick lite cream cheese off of your everything.

But when are Carolina students going to learn to spell “Rameses”?

To my roommate taking a dump while on the phone with his girlfriend, on speaker phone, connected to a larger speaker: Thanks for letting the neighbors know how much you love each other.

To the Asian student who pretended not to speak English to be left alone by Greenpeace: well played.

To my roommate from Florida: No, I do not have snowshoes. I’m an Ohioan, not an Eskimo.

When you start crying because you learn that a developed embryo has broken symmetry, it’s time for bed.

My SBP vote goes to whoever gets hashbrowns back in Lenoir. Or to Beyonce.

You know the struggle is real when you deem it necessary to bring a comforter and pillow to the bottom of the UL to sleep with before 12 p.m.

Dear every girl at UNC: No, I do not want to build a snowman.

To the girl who shoved me in the bathroom while I was on crutches, next time I see you, you’ll only have one leg to stand on too.

To whoever expelled their bra from the HoJo balcony: Calm your tits!

I’d like to applaud the DTH for remaining “fair and balanced” by featuring not one, but two Republican-focused editorial columnists!

To my professor whose answer key says, “I think so, yes” for a question: Aren’t you the one with the PhD?

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’