Kvetching Board for March 21, 2014

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To the guy walking around campus with the metal lunch pail, in the words of Jameis Winston, “IF WE GON DO IT THEN, WE DO IT BIG THEN!”

And here I was thinking that St. Patrick’s Day meant Irish beer, not Irish weather.

When it’s just snack time at the Pit Stop and the cashier is like “Are you SURE you don’t need a bag for that?”

To the pizza delivery guy who interrupted my class by saying, “Is this where the party’s at?” You would not BELIEVE how much the answer is “no.”

To all the letter writers of Israel-Palestinian and abortion issues in the DTH, can’t we all just get along?

To the girl who ate Cheerios steadily for an hour and 15 minutes in BIO 202, I commend your appetite but would appreciate a little less crunching next class.

To the guy who emailed the class listserv at 11 p.m. the night before the test asking what it will be on, thanks for making me feel better about my preparedness.

Picked UNC to go all the way in my bracket. Crazy fan or winner of 1 billion dollars?

To the people who helped me after I crashed my car into a hydrant, a HUGE thank you.

If you don’t feel like you need to post a Missed Connection on Craigslist, you’re doing spring break wrong.

To the ridiculously resilient ridge of high pressure, get out of the eastern Pacific and stop bringing us winter weather already!

To the “Glow Stick Games,” you sound like a glowy penis event for charity. Where do I sign up?

To the guy singing Frankie Valli on the balcony of Morrison, you’re just too good to be true.

Just saw a bus that said “Severin Weiner.” You stay away from me, bus.

To Global Studies, your students are all social justice activists who live in the Campus Y. Did you really think we wouldn’t get our graduation ceremony reinstated within 24 hours?

Dear individuals of Davis Library, please stop taking group study rooms to yourself. Sincerely, groups.

To the beautiful ginger guy wearing rugby shorts with the Scottish accent, never change, but you might want to get some more sun on those thighs.

To the UNC student that everyone in Cancun called “Fat Brad Pitt,” if you lose a few pounds and that accent, you can be my Mr. Smith.

To the guy snoring in the library, I saw you tweet about me glaring at you.

Send your one-to-two ? sentence entries to ?opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’