To the girl in the bottom of the UL stepping on the hole puncher, I think you’re doing it wrong.
If your hair sticks up a foot over your head, maybe sitting in the front row of a lecture isn’t the best idea.
To the girl who puked on me at the bar in TOPO last weekend: Want to pay for my dry cleaning?
I’m guessing Gossip Squirrel fell prey to a hawk. I bet it loved him XOXO.
To the people playing the song on repeat for over an hour in Alpine: LET IT GO.
College is about learning new things! Like how few hours of sleep before the migraines start, how to pretend you (don’t) remember people and how much your bank charges for an overdraft!
A big thanks to the freshman who serenaded the UL study room with his beautiful dulcet tones ordering BSki’s at 2 a.m. Thursday. Your selflessness in breaking the evil bonds of concentration and productivity is what keeps this university going.
All in favor of making the kvetch board the “I Love Marcus Paige board” this week say aye.
To the dog that trotted into my Philosophy class: Even Kant would like you better.
To the guy reading “The Lorax” while I start a paper due in an hour for the second time this week, thanks for making me realize that if I don’t get my mind out of spring break mode, “nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”
If only Ye Old Waffle Shoppe served breastases for breakfast...
To the freshman frat star griping about the restaurant manager who called the cops when he caught a fake ID: Yeah, he’s the one who’s an asshole.
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