Kvetching Board for Sept. 5, 2014

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To the person who had an “accident” in an Old West bathroom shower: I don’t care who you are. If YOU poop it YOU scoop it.

I waved at the J bus to stop and the driver waved back and kept driving. I was not waving hello.

Did James K. Polk ride the P2P?

Senior year. Where excuses for day drinking include “it’s Tuesday” and “my dog’s birthday was yesterday.”

To the people who take that initial step off the sidewalk into the road and let all those behind you jaywalk: You the real MVP.

To the guy in my logic class reading an “enlarge your penis” email ... have you been feeling a little invalid lately?

If you lost your weave this week it’s on the ground between Dey and Venable.

To my professor who claimed he brought us presents by saying he brought his presence, I see you are also a part-time dad.

I think I know how Jennifer Lawrence feels: The Google Street View car drove by right as I sneezed.

I look like I just did the ALS ice bucket challenge from walking to class.

Off campus: The magical place where candles aren’t illegal.

Really though, kudos to Davis Library for managing to fix the elevators and somehow make them creepier at the same time.

To the real Rameses: I know the only reason you face away from the student section the entire football game is to show off.

Intrusive ads, missing content, disorganized sections ... DTH, you gotta get your website together.

In all my years at UNC, and all the games I had attended before then, I’ve never heard the alma mater effed up so badly. Congratulations, class of 2018.

Knowing “Tar Heel” is two words should probably be a requirement for admission here.

To the mouth-breather sitting behind me: I don’t need any more warm, moist, air on the back of my neck this week, thank you.

To what I thought was fall weather: You are a grade-A royal tease. But come back ... I miss you.

Pretty sure we have more real athletes in Drama 116 than Liberty’s entire football team.

To UNC pedestrians: When I’m on my bike behind you, and I say “coming up on your left,” you should move the OTHER way.

Send your one-to-two ? sentence entries to ?opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’