Quickhits for Sept. 11, 2014

Crap flap

Let’s get one thing straight: If you’re pooping in your residence hall’s corridors, you’re a bad person. Not a funny person but a bad person. Unless you’re actually incontinent. But this particular case seems pretty intentional. What happened to the days when Cobblers stayed in their rooms and out of trouble? 

Love and other nuts

Remember that girl who kept a squirrel in her room in HoJo a couple years ago? The AP reports a Penn State student has gained a similar fame as a “squirrel whisperer.” She has reportedly befriended a particular squirrel, Sneezy, whom she enjoys adorning with party hats and costumes. Her Instagram must be doing well.

The NFL

Somewhere, star corner Richard Sherman is impressed with Roger Goodell’s ability to backpedal. The league feigned ignorance when TMZ released the tape, but the AP reported yesterday that police sent the footage to the league in April. We’ll find out the commissioner was IN the elevator by Friday. 

Color coordination

You’ve probably seen the picture going around of UNC’s largely successful “Stripe Out” and N.C. State’s not-at-all-successful “Black Out.” It’s comforting to know that if we’re going to take things down to the wire with a team we paid just shy of a million dollars to show up, we’ll at least look good doing it. 

RiPod

We’re not old or anything, but lost in the hubbub of Apple’s new iDevices was the unfortunate discontinuation of the iPod classic — and its scroll wheel!  You’re telling us feeling a friend’s heartbeat on our wrist is more important than the ability to keep a month’s worth of music in our pocket? NOPE. 

Cosmic prices

Cosmic Cantina has long been our favorite local restaurant. But Aug. 15, prices increased by an average of 10 percent. Cosmic is still delicious and local and fun, so we aren’t mad. But we will miss you, sour cream. You were too good for us. May you continue to bless the burritos of the affluent.