Kvetching Board for Mar. 27, 2015

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

I’ve been dreading walking into Fetzer for the first time after Dance Marathon and it looking completely different — no longer fun and exciting, just Fetzer.

To everyone who asked me “How was Dance Marathon?” and then responded with, “Yeah, you look awful” when I told them about it: Thanks.

My sex life is so nonexistent that I’m almost eligible to donate blood again. Thanks, FDA!

I’m willing to bet the Board of Governors has custom “Notorious BOG” T-shirts they wear on family 
outings.

I pray our generation figures out Reply All before we start being politicians and CEOs.

I feel Hinton James’ historical struggle every Monday when I walk to the FedEx Global Center.

It’s really unfortunate for readers that the opinion editor is better seen than heard.

When a professor says, “A couple of sentences,” we can all agree that means two, right? Because a couple IS two ... asking for a friend.

The beauty of being 21 is that I can (legally) get drunk before stressful events. For example, checking my bank account ...and school.

I will be the adoptive mother to all of Houston Summers’ children from a previous marriage.

It’s been 48 hours since Zayn left us, and Tulane students are already sacrificing goats to get him back.

I really want my math professor to follow her life calling and quit teaching to become a sister wife.

To my roommate who finds my bed more comfortable than his: No, that doesn’t mean when I’m away, it’s where you play.

Anyone else notice that young Roy Williams looks exactly like Jason Sudeikis? Because he really does.

Justin Jackson is the future.

Motion to deport Wisconsin to Canada?

It might be a real rivalry if so many UNC fans weren’t going to root for N.C. State after last night.

The only thing that could have made last night worse would have been announcers who had no clue what was going on. Oh wait...

I hate college basketball.

Today should be a national day of mourning.

Win or lose, at least UNC got some sweet shoes.

Send your one-to-two 
sentence entries to 
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’