The only thing worse than freshmen wearing lanyards: upperclassmen complaining about it nonstop.
“I’m a senior, who the f**k are you?” Oh, a student who expected a better 2016 slogan? Makes sense.
To the girl ordering her book next to me in class: It always makes me feel better to know my classmates haven’t read the book either.
Top of Lenoir is now serving brunch as part of their push to appeal to millennials. They also asked if we were into the new Jamie XX, which they think is “really chill.”
Having College Republicans on campus is basically having a club dedicated to defunding itself.
Whenever I order Wings Over Chapel Hill it either comes really slow or terrifyingly fast.
The University is trying to make a public forum for everything. Soon we will have a forum about whether we should have a forum.
Dear freshmen, most classrooms are being used when you arrive 30 minutes early. There is no need to open the door and check for yourself.
Drinking from the Old Well on FDOC did not pan out well for me. How about you?
Houston Summers feels like a TV dad. He even said “this stinks” in a recent interview.
I hate these hot days where it is supposed to rain. It basically turns my raincoat into a pressure cooker.
Board of Trustees are like: We want change! When do we want it? In 16 years.
So we clutttered up the Old Well with permanent bollards to stop it from being cluttered by temporary news trucks. Yeah, that make sense.
Is it just me or do frat parties kick ass? (No, it’s just me.)
Which is weaker from coming back to school? This weird new UNC Wi-Fi or my spirit?
Nothing makes you revert to savage status quite like trying to avoid people handing out flyers in the Pit.
The listservs I signed up for at my freshman FallFest stayed with me longer than many of my friendships.
A freshman asked me if I was sad that I was a senior so I drop kicked him to Duke.