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The Daily Tar Heel

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

My professor, who is clearly a dad, made the distinction in class today between fungi and fun guys.

Dear legislature: Please don’t patronize us by calling $750 a BONUS. And since we’re basically paying your salary, be sure to enjoy those cushy Pope box seats this season.

My professor keeps saying Avocado’s number instead of Avogadro’s number.

Wearing the same shoes as the new Pit preacher. I guess that means my sole is saved.

The University needs to build a cross-campus mega-bike-highway.

I wish our marching band was more like the Bubble Bowl Band from SpongeBob — in all ways.

Where is the sweater weather?

Can I just BE a dog?

Why must I contribute to global warming just to get a Cook-Out shake? Get it done, Chapel Hill. For the environment.

Why does Will Smith have to guilt-trip me about watching football right when the season is getting started? Can’t I just watch devastating head injuries for entertainment in peace?

Y’all, there was this study where scientists set up three shelters for 50 cockroaches, and they went 25 each into two of them. When the scientists did the same thing with 60 cockroaches, they went 20 each into all three shelters. COCKROACHES CAN DO MATH BETTER THAN I CAN. WE’RE DOOMED.

I have a lot of qualms about flyers this week. When someone wants to hand me a flyer in the Pit, I just want to grab them by the shoulders and say, “I’m too busy!”

I’m really glad Moe’s is coming to town. There was no way for me to find a burrito anywhere before.

So Chancellor Folt’s playlist has “Hot Fun in the Summertime” on there ;).

Send your one-to-two 
sentence entries to 
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’

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