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The Daily Tar Heel

Kvetching board for Jan. 22, 2016

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

I knew the apocalypse was near when the power went out and ESPN couldn't broadcast the game.

YES! Classes are canceled after 11 p.m.! Guess that means my date with Davis is canceled.

It's about time for Rat Face to say his back hurts and take the rest of the season off.

For the PC crowd that likes revisionism to tear away past history, how about going back to "real academic" qualifications to enter UNC.

Dear 2012 graduate, yes, I really am "required" to ask you for money three times, or I risk losing my job. It's really not that hard to listen for three minutes. Sincerely, a poor student caller who can barely afford rent.

My grandmother, who does not even use the internet, relays UNC information faster than Alert Carolina.

To the girl who dressed as a peacock at a costume party I was at … you had the best tail there.

Linda's offers their S*&!Faced special on Friday nights, a shot of Evan and Natty Bo for practically nothing … last Friday it proved itself a half truth. I got s*&!faced, but the next day did not feel very special.

To the bro from the business school who annoyingly abbreviated government spending to "G" at R&R Grill... your erudite business proclamations would be more convincing if you did not slur them.

To Alert Carolina … thanks for the staged notices, but NPR told me what I wanted to know in one easy to understand sentence … Snow day!!!

To my dormmate whom I found passed out hugging the toilet … I think you have found your girlfriend for the next four years.

To my classmate who always has their hand raised … do you ever think things you don't say?

In the words of Oprah, "You get a snow day! And you get a snow day! Everyone gets a snow day!!!!"

You can't spell snow without NO!

Send your one-to-two 
sentence entries to 
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’ 

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