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The Daily Tar Heel

Kvetching Board for Feb. 5, 2016

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To DPS, so the first person you decide to get after at the BOG meeting is maybe the smallest person in the room? Congrats, bros, you just made me feel a whole lot safer. I think I saw a little old lady jaywalking somewhere you may want to taze.

That moment in a group project when you realize you are the only competent person, which feels good. Then you realize you will be doing all the work for an entire semester, which feels bad.

To the Bern ... sorry guy, I would like to hear more about Hillary’s damn emails. Particularly that part where she gets indicted for mishandling of classified documents and you get the nomination.

To the SBP candidates making way too long videos about themselves, I’ll tell you something my mother always told me: self-praise stinks.

The DTH had the wrong clues for the puzzle on Thursday, and I demand that someone be fired over this.

What do they expect me to do to stay awake in 9 a.m. physics? Take notes?

No seriously, the DTH had the wrong clues for the puzzle on Monday too. What is the endgame here?? There must be one.

I’m not letting this go. The DTH had the answers filled in to one of last week’s crosswords. How does that even happen?

9-across. Clue: Incompetent (abbr.). 3 Letters.

The answer to the previous kvetch is DTH.

Still me, still upset about the crosswords. Has someone been fired yet?

Also still me. I feel very passionately about word puzzles — I apologize for all my cross words.

To my housemate who locked himself out in the cold this weekend ... I know I told you to take a cold shower, but you did not have to go that far.

This election has been all fun and games. But it’s time to get serious: When is Stephen Colbert going to announce his run for presidential office?

“‘Grease Live’ was better than the original movie.” #ShitDukeStudentsSay

Oh, so you find John Krasinski attractive now because of his newly earned six-pack and abundant facial hair? Get in line; I’ve been here since he put Dwight Shrute’s stapler in Jell-O in 2005.

Dear The Onyen, please stop. It’s nice to try and be a major key, but you’ll never be The Minor. Thank you.

Getting drunk at Super Bowl parties on a Sunday are like when Frodo decided in Rivendell to carry the ring to Mordor. You know you are going to regret it tomorrow, but hey, someone has to do it. I do have my Sam (Cam).

Send your one-to-two 
sentence entries to 
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’

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