Quick Hits for Feb. 23, 2017

Please stop

Is the student body president election drama over? Or is it just beginning? Like, we want to write something snarky about it, but we don’t know what the heck is going on anymore. All we know is that the pettiness makes all of us look bad. At least our “student leaders” do represent how trash we can be at times.

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A kinder trash talk

March Madness is coming up, and we dedicate this up thumb to all the people who do trash talk well. Insulting people, the academics and other non-athletic parts of a rival university is just wrong. There is plenty to hate about Duke or State without hurting fellow college kids. Please trash talk — just be kind, too.

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Conspiracy theory

It is time we expose something we have long believed to be true — professors are working together to make sure all tests and due dates happen on the same day. We have no actual proof for this claim, but it might be true. To any faculty claiming this isn’t true, well, I guess we just have alternative facts.

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Praise Overheard

Citizen journalism sometimes gets a bad reputation. But here at UNC, the Overheard Facebook page almost works as a news outlet. While we still have a bias toward the DTH, we think it is super cool that people use Overheard to inform others. Great work, Tar Heels. P.S. Overheard sometimes makes our jobs a lot easier.

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1984

As of late, we now have a system of “see something, say something” on campus. You know, every college student LOVES calling the police. Maybe we should go a step further. If you see an anti-fascist flier just skip the police and call N.C. Rep. Tim Moore’s office. He seems to be calling the shots.

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Too warm? Nah

The weather is beautiful outside. On first thought, this seems great. Warm weather 365 days a year! Wait. This is bad. It shouldn’t be this warm. It should be cold. Was Al Gore right? Are we going to slowly burn alive in the coffin we currently call earth? It seems likely at this point. Enjoy it while it lasts, friends.