Kvetching Board for March 10, 2017

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

The fact that all the SBP candidates have not been disqualified for arbitrary reasons is a travesty of justice. If Andrew Clark can’t be president, then NO ONE CAN.

When Michael Jordan came out for the big announcement, I thought it was going to be for “Space Jam 2.”

You know your dorm is finally a home when you have a drawer full of ketchup packets, plastic utensils, fortune cookies and other random leftover condiments from takeout orders.

A first-year in my math class asked for a homework extension because he “had a lot of other work to do”. I THINK HE JUST CRACKED THE CODE, AND I’M ANGRY I DIDN’T THINK OF THIS EARLIER.

Unfortunately, my usual kvetching has been interrupted by a conference out of town, but I’m guessing if I just say “GTHD” and “what’s up with this weather, amirite?” it will still be appropriate.

I’d like to take a moment to kvetch about the fact that I forgot to submit a kvetch last week.

I have been in a marine science class for two midterms but still haven’t learned shit about whales. I can tell you all about hydrogen bonds, but I don’t know what sound a whale makes when it is happy.

You’re telling me I cannot bring a bottle of water into Wilson Library, but the Morehead finalists can have a whole dinner?

At least the SBP race is about to be over.

My heart cannot handle another Duke game in such a short amount of time.

Why didn’t anyone tell me there is toxic dust being welled up from around Hamilton.

When you finish your test, knowing you probably failed it, and you just sit in your seat ‘til time is up. If this professor is going to give me a 50, I am going to at least waste as much of their time as I possibly can.

Everything that could possibly go wrong today did. Can you believe that?

I just want to go into my house and cry over Spring Break.

The quads need more places to sit. And not on the grass, like actual chairs. What if people are allergic to grass? Or don’t like bugs? Riddle me that, UNC seat planning people.

Follow-up: you shouldn’t hate bugs. They are pretty cool and do a lot to help the environment function.

Is it Summer Break yet? Wake me up when it is.

Send your one-to-two 
sentence entries to 
opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’

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