My phone shed its mortal coil last week.
It was a good phone. And while I may cry for my iPhone’s demise (cryPhone), out of the two of us, the phone may be the lucky one. Because while my phone has reached eternal bliss and slumber, I had to read the past week’s news.
Granted, the week didn’t start poorly. First there was Tuesday when the NCAA, fresh off granting the Tar Heel state a place to strut our basketball superiority, decided that we no longer needed to have moral superiority — or morals for that matter — and future tournaments might be held in North Carolina. Because according to the NCAA, ensuring employees and fans have a safe environment extends only to the bathroom and not workplace discrimination laws.
Then Wednesday, when I finally got around to packing away and saying farewell to my iPhone (goodbyePhone), Steve Bannon was fired from the National Security Council. This should have been good news because when white supremacists lose their seats of power, everyone wins — even iPhones without cameras, batteries and home buttons — but then on departure he had to say that whole creepy mission accomplished thing.
Now, I’m fairly certain that was the Trump administration/Bannon trying to save face on another embarrassing shake-up, but still, my iPhone’s premature departure saved it from frantic Google searches trying to find out what Bannon may or may not have accomplished as well as panic bag-packing advice websites (advicePhone).