The last few weeks have been filled with quite a few “lasts.” Last Duke-UNC game as an undergrad (eh, let’s forget that one). Last compilation of the literary magazine on campus for which I serve as editor-in-chief. Even more daunting are all the lasts coming up in the next few weeks and months. Next week, last spring break. Apr. 24, LDOC. Yes, I am on the way to grad school this fall, so school isn’t necessarily ending, but undergrad and all of its one-of-a-kind experiences are.
A little overwhelming. Okay, a lot overwhelming. I can get really sentimental thinking about all the things about undergrad that have a nearing expiration date. I keep hearing from other people (mostly adults), “You’re allowed to have fun now. It’s senior spring!” Unfortunately, I am one of those people who seems to still be caught up in my to-do lists, as if it were junior year and my GPA determined whether or not I would get to write an honors thesis.
They’re right: now is the time to try to enjoy what little bit of undergrad is left. I have always had a problem living in the moment. I am a constant worrier, as I have written about before, and I often resent pressure to participate in certain activities/traditions just because it’s the thing to do at a certain point in life.
I can’t help but feel like I can’t. I definitely have felt the notorious “senioritis” multiple times already this semester, but it’s usually cancelled out by those old, creeping anxieties.
I do want to say to other seniors who might feel like they’re struggling to enjoy themselves that I think it might be normal. Whether you know what you’re doing after graduation or not, senior spring is allowed to be a stressful time.