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DTH at a Glance

Good morning, and please don't share this story with my mom

From dead pets to the necessity of healthy grieving methods to walks of shame, today’s stories are an eclectic bunch — and I bet you’re thinking I can’t find an anecdote to tie together this hodgepodge of a newsletter. But au contraire, friend. Pull up a seat.

It’s 1 o’clock in the morning. I receive a respectable message from a respectable person from a respectable dating app. “Wanna come watch SNL?” it reads. Naturally, I make the decision to go. I’m not one to pass up the possibility to find Nicholas Sparks-esque love.

Flash forward about an hour. We’re discussing family values. (I told you. Respectable.) As I round out my spiel about valuing my dog more than myself, he takes his turn. Roughly two minutes into his answer and exactly three minutes and 18 seconds into the Kate McKinnon skit on TV, I hear a sharp crack in his voice. As I watch in composed horror, tears well in his eyes and streak down his face as he recounts the story of how his family cat accidentally died — more than four years ago. In that moment everything went black. I can’t remember what awkward, muffled goodbyes we exchanged as I undoubtedly told him my roommate was going through a crisis and needed me home right that second. So, iPhone dead, I walked 0.8 miles back to my dorm, soaking in the cold 2 a.m. rain and the colder 2 a.m. self-pity.

QUICK HITS

  • $3.65 breakfast tacos are coming to The Daily Grind. This is not a drill.
  • Thanks to a private organization, there’s a new standard set in what “affordable” means for college educations. TL;DR — it still isn’t.
  • Last night, a group of students held a #SayHerName vigil outside Wilson Library to honor and remember black women who have suffered from violence and discrimination.

IN CHAPEL HILL NEWS

A moment of silence for $6 hibachi chicken. That’s right. This afternoon, I got the phone call I’ve been dreading for the past two years: Sakura Xpress is moving on. Sawasdee Thai, the restaurant opening in its place, does promise to fill the hibachi chicken-shaped void in our souls, though. At least we have someone we can rebound with in this time of heartbreak.

IN POLITICS AND GOVERNMENT

Bladen County plans to exchange euthanized dogs for $4 donations from researchers. OK, in all fairness, the traded dogs would have been euthanized anyway, and this agreement  was already in place for cats — but in all honesty, I just care a lot less about what happens to dead cats.

IN SPORTS

The youngest member of UNC football’s coaching staff can relate to players like few coaches can. Eight years ago, he played the position he now coaches, and that put him at a unique advantage to knock his new position out of the park. Players and fellow coaching staff value his contributions to the team.

IN CAMPUS NEWS

A UNC senior’s new wheelchair came thanks to the crowdfunding of his peers. In April, a bus collided with Joe Brown, destroying his wheelchair in the crash. And while Chapel Hill Transit paid his hospital bills and replaced the chair, fellow students took it a step further — raising money to upgrade his wheelchair and thus proving people don’t always suck.

IN OUR OPINION

Our satirical advice columnists explore G-rated walks of shame. Along with some helpful condolences on how to deal with Sakura’s untimely passing, Drew Goins and Kelsey Weekman deliberate on how you can make college’s most shameful moments a little easier.

IN THE BLOGS

You really don’t have to read “Go Set a Watchman” now. Assistant State & National Editor Benji Schwartz dissects Atticus Finch and the additional, complex character layers and fallibility added to him from the book’s new perspective.

And for those of us with a more mature cultural palette: THE REST OF ONE DIRECTION IS ABOUT TO BREAK UP. Right when we finally started coming to terms with Zayn leaving us, the rest of 1D goes and hecks everything up. But, luckily, full-time Arts & Entertainment Editor and part-time grief counselor Sarah Vassello is here to talk it out with us.

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