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DTH at a Glance

I'm about to get really millennial with you

Every college student in America has at least one funny story about his or her Uber experiences. Except me. I'm cheap and would rather walk half an hour to get home than spend the $6 that could've gone to half of my Starbucks order. So, for today's charming anecdote, I polled the office. One brave coworker, Alice Wilder, recounts her tale:

Over the summer, Alice was going to the airport on her way to see her parents — and like all millennial trash, she opted to call an Uber to drive her there. Safely inside a 2005 Honda Civic, she offhandedly informed her driver of her destination, and he went into DEFCON 3 (something about him losing his license if they ever catch him dropping someone off at RDU again). So, together, Alice and her driver spent the next 40 minutes devising a fabricated relationship and hiding all traces of his Uber-tude. Nearly an hour and one libertarian economic freedom rant later, Alice was safely delivered to RDU — now a bona fide expert in the evils of the "taxi mafia" and its efforts to freeze out Uber drivers.

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QUICK HITS

  • Student-athletes at private colleges aren't allowed to unionize, according to a recent ruling from the National Labor Relations Board. UNC student-athletes also can't unionize, but UNC senior offensive guard Landon Turner doesn't think considering a student-athlete an employee is too far-fetched.
  • The General Assembly has OK'd ride-sharing services like Uber to pick people up from airports. Great news as I scribble RDU onto my list of possible venues for my 21st.

IN CAMPUS NEWS

If you're trying to fly a drone on campus, be ready to navigate a lot of red tape. You'll need a license from a federal agency, some training and permission from facilities — which is questionably more effort than I exerted to get my driver's license.

IN CHAPEL HILL NEWS

Franklin Street is getting a Moe's! Cosmic, Chipotle, Bandido's, Lime, Armadillo Grill, Lucha Tigre, Carrburritos and Los Potrillos: Your father and I want you to know something. You're getting a little brother. Now I know what you're thinking: What took so long? But you know, sometimes the subtle, calculated homogenization of an entire town's food scene takes some time.

IN DYING ALONE

BREAKING: UNC guys are No. 10 on Tinder's "Most Swiped Right" list. UNC men may not have been able to move past the Sweet 16 in a certain sport last year, but this year our campus crushed the Tinder game with our A+ boys. Plus, all 12 guys in the state of Wisconsin didn't even make the list, so there's some justice in this world.

IN OUR OPINION

This week in bad advice, The Daily Tar Heel's top worst columnists offer you tips to spice up your class life, which involved extensive research on Cosmo's website. Drew and Kelsey also learned a lot about "Celebrities Doing Things!" and under-eye concealers — but that was just for personal use. Also, they helped us learn how to unsubscribe from listservs… just not this one.

IN THE BLOGS

Here's a weekly rundown of the 2016 presidential race. It's broken down by top news, party affiliation and quote of the week. And, like all things good in this world, this blog was inspired by Kanye West.

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