Heck-talking my hometown Wendy's

I know every UNC student, Nicholas Sparks character and their mothers claim to have come from a small town in North Carolina. It's such a cliche, and I hate hearing it. Except when I say it because when I say it, it's true.

And as you and your mothers might know, small towns like to take irrelevant things really seriously — like what size, shape and color local business signs can be. Chapel Hill is revisiting those policies, at least. But you know who still has zero chill? Oak Ridge, North Carolina.

It was a real-life scandal there that the local Wendy's wasn't allowed to put flags on its roof because that would ruin the town's aesthetic. And they real-life wanted to put flags on their roof because people kept confusing the Wendy's for the Bank of Oak Ridge. This is where I spent 10 years of my life.

— Danny

QUICK HITS

• The Chapel Hill Town Council finally approved development plans for the future Grove Park apartments, much to the approval of any unknowing first-year who has ever pre-gamed in Townhouse.
• Title IX requirements have forced UNC-system schools to expand staff and revisit policies, but it's up to the schools to fund the changes.
• The Coalition of Immokalee Workers protested for workers' rights outside a Cary Publix as part of a more than five-year campaign against the company.
• If you didn't keep up with the local election, here's some background on stuff you've probably been wondering about Chapel Hill's mayor-elect, including what the heck a CHALT is.

IN ROLE MODELS

Finally, consolation for the end of "America's Next Top Model" is here. The Robert and Pearl Seymour Senior Center will bring back its Holiday Fashion Gala this Friday. Festivity, fashion, self-described "heavy hors d’oeuvres," wine, the elderly — God, I am home.

IN BEARD NEWS

Local police officers are forgoing shaving to raise awareness of cancer. The Carrboro Police Department, Hillsborough Police Department and the Orange County Sheriff’s Office are all participating in this year's No Shave November — OK, except Carrboro. Carrboro is ~different~ and celebrates "no-shave holiday." Because you know, Carrboro.

IN MUNICIPAL SIGNAGE

The town of Chapel Hill is revisiting restrictions on signs that businesses can display. In the town's outline for what signs can and can't do, the written regulation is apparently super convoluted. They're considering measures to make it easier to exempt small businesses, which sounds nice. But Wendy's would still be screwed :/

IN STREET ART

Chapel Hill is tricking out five of its crosswalks. The town opened up a contest for local artists to design new patterns because white lines are boring, and scientifically speaking it's harder to ignore a crosswalk shaped like a giant dead fish. A town official said the art will last two or three years before washing away, similar to the Sharpie on my hand from the last St. A's party.

IN THE BLOGS

Which UNCelebrity are you? Unfortunately, I've been told I'm not a potential answer. But I did get Carol Folt, whose description says, "People love receiving mass emails from you." So it's not, like, a particularly accurate quiz. But it's still fun to take when you're ignoring responsibility.