An ode to Beyoncé and also Jade Palace

Before the age of 15, I owned three articles of clothing that weren't black. I didn't own a shirt with a collar. I think there might've been cargo shorts. It was a dark time in my life – literally. I couldn't see because my hair almost completely covered my eyes.

Then everything changed when I lost a bet in ninth grade world history, and I had to wear polos or button downs for a week. My inner scene kid slowly died for four days, but then I came to the realization: I actually look damn hot in a collared shirt. Losing an embarrassing bet single-handedly changed the course of my aesthetic for the next six years.

In that same tradition of friendly competition and public embarrassment, North Carolina's senators and governor decided to enter a bet with their Coloradoan counterparts over the results of last night's Super Bowl. Fingers crossed it helps out McCrory as much as it helped me.

— Danny

QUICK HITS

• Beyoncé, America's last remaining monarch, announced the Formation World Tour. Tickets will go on sale on a date I refuse to tell a group of 2,800 people who are probably also trying to buy them.
• This Q&A with urban design professor Andrew Whittemore has everything you've ever wanted to know about petty beefs between the people who designed UNC's campus.
• The UNC Lineberger Comprehensive Cancer Center recently endorsed the HPV vaccine as a cancer prevention method — just in time for World Cancer Day.
• Animal rights and environmentalist groups are suing North Carolina officials over a recent law prohibiting recording inside agricultural venues, daycares and other businesses.

IN SPORTS NEWS

UNC women's basketball finally broke its losing streak. After seven consecutive losses and the temporary absence of their coach, the Tar Heels managed to beat Boston College 86-78 on Sunday.

IN STATE NEWS

Supposedly, the subcontractor responsible for state road repairs just, like, stopped showing up. Officials say they have until Monday to change their minds. Side note, if a company in charge of major roads in N.C. can just not come to work, I can definitely skip a final exam for the Beyoncé concert.

IN STUDENT GOVERNMENT

The three remaining Student Body President hopefuls faced off in the DTH office last night. Bradley Opere, John Taylor and Wilson Sink discussed feminism, support for LGBTQ students and other issues of identity approximately 25 feet from my desk while I sat there and ate Jade Palace.

IN LOSING BETS

Thanks to last night's game, Gov. Pat McCrory could be making donations to a Colorado food bank and animal shelter. In last night's Panthers loss, Pat McCrory also lost a bet to Gov. John Hickenlooper. The four senators involved also agreed to publicly humiliate one another in the Senate at some point. So much riding on one sports-themed Beyoncé concert.