What it's like to be an anonymous Twitter personality

I am @uncproblems_.

Hopefully you know what that is. If you don't, this isn't as self-indulgent as I thought.

UNC problems is an anonymous Twitter account created by Casey Godwin Howard in 2011. In 2014, she passed it down to me.

When I was a first-year, anonymous Twitter accounts ran the world. My idols were UNC problems and UNC Memes. 

The original UNC problem and I had a special relationship. I tweeted at her a lot and we'd banter back and forth. 

It's been really freaking fun. I have fought N.C. State fans, created a viral hashtag, complained about campus pests and made gifs of the UNC basketball team. 

Soon I will be passing the account on to someone younger who will keep the voice fresh (and better updated) than I can from hundreds of miles away.

Here are some things I learned as an anonymous force with 7,000 to 8,000 followers (it depends on how many gifs I have tweeted recently, tbh):

1. Twitter banter begets wonderful things.

2. N.C. State fans do not argue logically, but that does not make it less fun to fight with them.

3. The "mute" feature is a powerful creation that will keep you from hearing noise but allow you to keep followers.

4. #dookfans produce infinite jokes.

5. People will steal your jokes and it sucks! No joke here.

6. If you tweet during a basketball game — even if it's two letters (ex: ah) — you will get retweets.

7. Gifs are the key to success. 

8. It's okay to self-promote. You are on your own team.

9. Whenever you mess up with an audience, people are going to tear you apart. I once tweeted "Tar Heel Bread" accidentally. I had to own up to the people criticizing my spelling mistake.

10. There are so so many more funny things to do than criticize people's spelling mistakes! Call them out in a more thoughtful, acute, damaging way.

11. Notifications are my friends. 

12. It's no fun to keep your identity a secret! Hence this big reveal.

13. No one really cares about anonymous Twitters anymore. They care about gifs.

14. That being said, it's been the joy of my life to tweet silly complaints about UNC for the past two years. Here's to the new UNC problems!


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