Elections

Congrats to Will Leimenstoll and Calvin Lewis for making the runoff. Whichever of them gets our new endorsement should be wary: Tim
Longest’s loss left us 0 for 4 in the past four years.

Tyler Zeller

People gave Zeller a lot of heat following the Duke game. But then he performed admirably against Virginia, and after last night’s win against Miami, we can just forget the Duke game ever happened.

Rameses

Rameses is dead — long live Rameses! We’re excited for the new era with “feisty” Bam Bam, who’ll become Rameses XIX. But is it really necessary to decapitate and stuff the head of Rameses XVIII?

Elect Your Valentine Day

Maybe you found love in a hopeless place (60/40 ratio, right ladies?). If you didn’t, Valentine’s/Election Day might not have been so great. At least no one was called a “cooter” this year.

Tuition

Tuition is rising an average of 8.8 percent systemwide, despite vocal protests by students. If you’re not a senior, good luck with that — it’s not improving anytime soon. Get better already, economy!

Alert Carolina

We get emails warning us that it might, at some point, snow this winter. But we can’t get a prompt notification that someone has been raped in an alley near Topo. Gee, thanks for looking out for us.