kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain
Dear bricks: Next time you make me fall in front of a cute boy I will come at you with a jackhammer. (PS: don’t invite any of your friends here, we’re starting to look like State).
INFORMATIONAL: I don’t want to participate in your study.
To the girl doing sit-ups on the floor of Davis Library on a Sunday afternoon: SERIOUSLY?!
To the shyest boy in the world: how much more overt do I need to be? Talk to me.
Dear UNC: would it kill you to re-pave a few roads? The streets on this campus have more holes than John McCain’s tax plan.
A letter about a letter complaining about other letters: now THAT’S news!
To the guy I saw wearing UGGs: shame on you
Dear UNC landscaping: Perhaps we should re-evaluate the unnecessary quad vacuuming … there are still leaves on the trees.
What is this, stereotype awareness month?
Why all the recent fuss over Silent Sam? Everyone knows he’s just there to alert us when a virgin crosses his path. So let him concentrate, already!
Okay, we are all excited that the election has added ‘vetted’ to your dictionaries. Please stop overusing it now.
To all UNC athletes: Please drink lots of milk and take your vitamins. I do not like this roller coaster of injuries! Thanks in advance.
Seriously INFORMATIONAL e-mail? WHERE a full upper denture? You just instilled so much confidence in your research study.
Hey roommate, no matter how many times you try, you can’t beat me in Mario Kart. Face it, Yoshi is better.
Since when did the Kvetching board become Juicy Campus?
Art history majors: Stop wasting my oxygen, and choose a major that has some benefit to society.
A big heartfelt “humbug!” to the grinches who made sure that there will be NO Christmas decorations in Davis Library this year.
Snow? What snow? Must’ve been that bubble …
To the freshman who showed up 15 minutes into the first half the basketball game with Phase 1 tickets: I hate you.
Since when did throwing on a blue scarf qualify as Carolina spirit?
To a certain P2P: you’ve had your run, but now it’s time to retire. There are lots of dignified options out there for you: high school shuttling, prisoner transport or motor euthanasia.
Send your one-to-two sentence entries to editdesk@unc.edu, subject line ‘kvetch.’
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