Brought to you by the letter, 'O'

The new NSSHB is out! No, I’m not talking about the latest New Kids on the Block. It’s the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior. This is the biggest sex survey conducted and published since 1994’s National Health and Social Life Survey, which was, like, so ‘90s.

Since then, people have gotten a little older, a little wiser. We’ve found 41 different combinations of having sex, that condom usage is high in adolescents and that more people are having oral sex and anal sex.

One more finding is that in their most recent sexual event, 85 percent of men think their partner had an orgasm while 64 percent of women had an orgasm, and this gap is too large to be explained by men who had male partners.

Something’s off here, or rather, someone’s not getting off here.

A couple of obvious explanations would be that men are over-guesstimating their abilities, or that women are faking it. Suffice it to say, “There’s this massive gap between men’s perception and women’s reality,” said Dr. Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., M.P.H., told ABC News.

It’s difficult to assign blame to either party. Some men are just clueless, and some women fake for well-intentioned reasons. But we shouldn’t ignore one underlying fact: For a lot of women, it’s just hard to have an orgasm.

As many as 24 percent of women have reported an inability to achieve orgasm, or anorgasmia, in the previous year. That’s nearly one in four. Sometimes, this is due to a medical condition or medication. Other times, it’s a result of hormonal changes during aging.

A few studies have also revealed genetic or even anatomic influences, like the distance from the clitoris to the vagina or the thickness of the urethrovaginal space.

Finally, there’s a litany of psychosocial factors that come into play as well, such as shame or self-esteem.

The good news is that there are several treatments available. Specific hormonal therapies in postmenopausal women have worked. The FDA has even approved the Eros-Clitoral Therapy Device, which uses a vacuum to draw blood towards the clitoris and facilitate orgasm.

On a more holistic side, 93 percent of women were able to reach orgasm using the Betty Dodson method, which includes group therapy along with clitoral vibrator stimulation/masturbation.

To be sure, many women still enjoy the emotional and physical intimacy of sex without reaching orgasm. But if you are having difficulty, that doesn’t make you difficult. Many women share this problem, and there are solutions.

Another finding was that women were significantly more likely to have orgasms if they reported several different sexual behaviors, not just penile-vaginal intercourse.

In fact, only about a third of orgasmic women climax by intercourse alone. Another third can get there with additional stimulation, often clitoral. And the rest require manual or oral stimulation instead.

You can take control of your sexuality. Explore what you like through masturbation or toys, and communicate to your partner, whether casual or long-term, your sexual needs. Seek out a physician or therapist if you think there is something more serious.

Then, I hope that you can turn your big “O?” into a big “O!”

Perry Tsai is a Sexual Health Columnist for The Daily Tar Heel. He is a second-year medical student from New Orleans, LA. Contact him at perytsai@gmail.com.