By now the onslaught of political media should be over, and Americans can return to day-to-day activities, instead of posing like they gave a damn by cramming in last-minute "Decision 2000" propaganda.
For those who didn't care at all, how dare the radio and TV distract you from an umpteenth listening of "Shake Ya' Ass" and "The Real World" marathon to make you aware of the nation's future, and worse yet, to try to persuade you to vote? The audacity!
At least Tuesday is over, and we can refocus the concern for nebulous topics like welfare back on (duh) ourselves, because self-obsession and inflated egos are the inherent character of the nation anyway, right? Let's have a sigh of relief for the return of those qualities perfected by our fat American selves.
Hey, it's OK if you didn't vote, and even more gravy if you didn't attempt to register. We voters understand how things can prevent you from filling out a registration form, stamping it and putting it in the mailbox, and we also know the pilgrimage to the local town hall or school can be quite a doozy.
Or maybe you're just an idiot.
Like my Vietnamese-American salonist said: "I not voting. I don't really care. It don't matter to me anyway. French or American manicure?" Okaay.
Or the street pharmacist: "Man, I ain't gonna vote, because these guys don't give a shit about what we do, they just want us to keep killing our own people. They don't care about us, they just care about white rich people, so why should I give a fuck?"
This may have some clout, but does "being part of the problem" ring a bell?
Or this, from a (college-educated) conservative: "I have to work all day on Election Day, but I'm going to try to vote, but you see, that's the whole Democratic conspiracy." What?
"Well, most Democrats are unemployed and poor, so they have time to go to the polls and sustain the life of the Democratic party in office by voting Democrat, while hardworking Republicans can't manage the time to get there, much less wait in line, before we have to go back to work."
Yeah, that's why polls close in the evening, meaning this guy's a complete imbecile for believing that B.S., and I feel sorry for other voting Republicans who got misrepresented by the likes of him.
Sadly, these "citizens" will be whining about some issue they're disgruntled with in the future, but at least we voters can say we did something about it.
Then again, perhaps this adamance is unwarranted, because I saw an average of three "I Voted" stickers in my classes, evoking feelings of lameness, sadness and lack of patriotism.
Jeez, sorry for wasting your time with this diatribe on civic duty; I think I'll go home and watch unlimited NBA on DirecTV, order pizza and long for PS2.
Shindy Chen can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.