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The Daily Tar Heel

Web Site Separates the Hot From the Butt-Ugly

So what has me tying up my phone lines for hours at a time? No, I already said, it's not porn.

It's www.amihotornot.com, a free site where you can view photos of other people and rate them on a "hotness" scale of one to 10. If you are brave enough, or masochistic enough, you can post your own picture and log in to see how people have rated you.

I say masochistic because as you peruse the pictures, you get the distinct feeling that some of these people are just looking for a reason to commit suicide.

These are people who, first of all, are insecure enough about their looks that they need evaluation by people who have nothing better to do with their time than play on the Internet. (Note: My visit was for legitimate journalistic research. Please don't pick on me.)

Second, they often look like they picked photos of themselves that make them look like they have been beaten about the head with a lead pipe nearly to the point of unconsciousness, with just enough life left to snap the photo.

And third, they are constantly checking their ratings (the photos include info about how recently the person logged in), as if somehow their 1.2, based on more than 1,000 votes, managed to jump miraculously to a 9 overnight, thanks to a horde of newcomers who happen to have an acne fetish and a predilection for cellulite.

I feel very sorry for these people, so I always give them 10s, in the hopes that other kind souls will agree with me that they have enough to worry about, what with being fat and ugly and all. They don't need actual proof of it.

There seem to be two kinds of people who post their pictures. One group is made up of model types who have fairly professional-looking pictures of themselves, considering they're trailer trash. (The orange Cheetos residue on the fingers is a dead giveaway.) I can only assume that these people are applying for a position as an exotic dancer at some fine establishment where the application process requires that you post your picture on amihotornot.com and receive a rating no less than 7.

The other group is made up of fat, ugly people. These are the people who friends describe as having "a great personality" or "an enormous appetite, with an ass to match." Unfortunately, the site is bursting their fragile bubbles.

The anonymity of the Internet has cultivated a society of gutless bastards, taking cheap shots at the helpless from the veiled safety of their own hidden cybercaves. Such cowardice is shameful and appalling, and those who engage in such pathetic activity should really point a criticizing finger at themselves. Where do you get the right to stomp on someone's self-esteem? Who the hell do you think you are?

I just checked my rating, and so far I'm a 9.9. Scratch everything I just said. Screw the uglies! Long live the pretty people!

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