It ain't Watergate, people. CAA Prez Tee-Boz Pruitt is not Nixon minus the jowls. I haven't heard about a secret taping system in the Student Union. And a character named after a porn film has not yet been introduced into the melee. (Although an anonymous informant named John Holmes or "Debbie Does Dallas" would make things more interesting.) But the uproar on campus makes you wonder why The Washington Post hasn't picked up the story. Indeed, the allegations of conduct "unbefitting" have been made, some students within the CAA have been fired, and rumors of rigged ticket distribution have run rampant.
It certainly smacks of Machiavellian maneuvering. But is it true? Did Tee-Rex have handfuls of UNC basketball tickets at his fingertips? Were certain students given choice tickets or heads-up on key distribution numbers and times? Does Pruitt look fantastic in black pumps with a modest heel?
No one seems to know for sure.
Yes, hunches have been made, and The Daily Tar Heel sleuths have been searching for the truth. But so far, no one has been promoted to gumshoe.
Some individuals have come forward -- perhaps the most noteworthy is the character who had a crisis of conscience. The truth is out there, but no one has been able to find it.
Enter Student Congress.
The Kongress Klowns have decided to take time off from making important decisions (read: moratoriums on death penalties and bills for world peace) and turn their attentions to bad news on the home front.
Congress, complete with a "take-no-prisoners" mentality, has introduced two resolutions. The first censures the CAA leadership, charging that personal politics, not hygiene, have "eclipsed" the athletic concerns of UNC students. (Note: Don't confuse the first resolution with Bonnie Tyler's mega-hit "Total Eclipse of the Heart.")
The second charges Pruitt with conduct unbecoming an elected officer of the student body.