First, I want to say that writing for the DTH was the best experience I've ever had, excluding that party I went to the other week at Bolinhood where everyone was playing four square. Writing gave me the chance to express myself creatively, to reach people in a new and exciting way and most importantly, to earn quasi-celebrity status among people who really like fart jokes. Thank you all.
Second, I want to express my most sincere appreciation for all of the wonderful teachers from whom I have had the privilege of learning. Starting with good old Doug Wakeman for ECON 10 ("Think Fast, Mr. Shoop!") to the unflappable sockless hero of the PR world, Pat O'Neil (I owe you my life for giving me an excuse to get Angela to come over to my house. Congratulations on your engagement.). You have made me who I am today. Whoop-de-doo!
Third, I want to acknowledge everyone here who has shared my time at Carolina with me and made it so freakin' great (this does not include any of you dirty pedophiles living in Laurel Ridge). I'm going to simply run down a list of my "peeps" that I want to "give mad props" to, so if you don't know me, you might as well skip to a different article.
I want to give a shout-out to my old Motown suite -- Perin, Kevin, Big Buse, Black Rob, Hunter, Wyatt and Dae-Jin. I really didn't mind you guys that much.
To the rest of the kids on fifth floor, Bubba, Clay and Adam, much love.
Lindsey and Lauren, I'm calling you out, too. To Leah, however, I give no props. Snubber.
Preston Orange, Kendlin, Christian and Christina, Justin Oxman, Steve Jensen, Matt Branch, Andy Shapiro, Dick Netmer, Phil Dees, Steve, Wood, Nathan, Ogle, Stree-hole, Matul, Kenny, Jeff, Missy, Mark, Dan, Mesh and Patrick, much respect to the hustlers.
To Bindi, Bela, Megan, Christy, Karen, Fat Neeps, Kortne (this is the only time I'll ever write it like that, so appreciate it), Amy, Ashley (congratulations), Mandy, Maggie, Hannah and Alexis, I'll miss you and love you all.
To Gray, Greg and Mike, much love, but clean your damn apartment. It's a shit-hole.