Sinners, Let Madonna Save You

OK, so here goes: Not only am I Madonna-obsessed, but I frickin' worship her.

That's right. Each and every night, after I'm all tucked in, I pray to Madonna. Not the Madonna, as in Jesus' mother -- I'm talking about the Material Girl here.

Think I'm crazy? I probably am. But that don't make no matter. Madonna has many followers. And doesn't that validate the religion? (We Madonna-ites prefer being recognized as a religious sect -- not a cult.)

As a follower of the righteous Queen of Pop, I adhere to a few simple beliefs.

Let's get the most controversial one out on the table now. I'm not sure why it's so troublesome for the nonbelievers, but here goes: Ecstasy is ecstasy. We derive pleasure from various sources - all equally significant. There is a deep connection between religious ecstasy and sexual ecstasy.

In 1989, Madonna explored this doctrine in her "Like a Prayer" video. In it, a statue of a holy black man cries tears of blood. In between dancing amid burning crosses and witnessing a crime, Madonna makes a church visit. The statue comes to life and kisses Madonna -- right there on the altar.

At that moment, Madonna broke multiple taboos at once. She was kissing a religious icon for crying out loud! And it was a black one to boot! Not only was she pushing racial boundaries, but she was also making a strong connection between religion and sexuality.

Ah, in the Church of Madonna, we're not ashamed of our sexuality. It is a part of us, just as every other aspect of human existence. Sexuality is a gift to be celebrated, not hidden away. If we are made from some grander image, then our feet and hands are copied from this image. So is sexuality. All is holy.

Now, let us move on to another important aspect of belonging to the Church of Madonna. This involves race. In the "Like a Prayer" video, a black actor portrays a Christlike figure.

Now how crazy is that? Well, back then, it made more than a few eyebrows point up. Some people thought that the actor was portraying Jesus himself while others thought he was supposed to be some saint. Either way, people weren't thrilled that a black man played the holy role. And I'm betting people would have the same reaction today.

Is the race of Christ that important? Or for that matter, does the race of an actor portraying Christ for a music video call for great concern?

In the Church of Madonna, we don't see skin color at first. When you enter our walls, we see you and everyone else who searches us out as equal rays of light. We see you for what comes from within. We see the spark of divinity in your eyes. And that divinity exists in each and every brother and sister alike.

Once our eyes adjust to your light, we see the color of your skin. We love the details. We love the freckles. We love the white skin. We love the brown skin. We love curly red hair. We love rich black curls. We love blonde locks.

We love and appreciate each and every single one of you for all your differences. There are hearts in each of you. The red blood that courses through each of you is the same. If there is some grander image, he encompasses every characteristic like some exquisite rainbow.

One last doctrine in the Church of Madonna centers around passion. Our leader has stood as a pillar time and time again in the face of harsh criticism.

Yet she stands still.

We know that others will call us lunatics. They will fashion our group as some twisted cult, but that is of no great import to us. We are passionate individuals and will remain so.

We encourage our followers to only follow their hearts -- as our leader has done. As long as no inflictions of pain occur, what wrong can come of that? We must stand up strongly for what we believe in.

If there is hurt in our environment, we must work to not only rise above it, but completely eradicate it. We cannot live within the limits of our pain and suffering.

And we mustn't allow the pain or suffering of our fellow brethren to thrive.

Each one of us realizes that a small human can make a difference. Perhaps it's simply lending an ear to someone in need of one to listen. Maybe it's taking care of a friend who's had too much to drink. Or it could be the joke you told and the smile it induced.

These are simple things.

Surely we are all capable of such simplicity. Surely we are all capable of such tiny acts of kindness that could make all the world of difference.

You don't have to believe me or anything I've ever said. And I'm not asking you to join my cult.

But if you ever need me, I'm here.

Want to compare and contrast Madonna with the Madonna? Reach Cameron at mitchel6@email.unc.edu.