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The Daily Tar Heel

Barometer 09/07/01

Will Legislate for $

In the Cards
Officials linked students' UNC ONE Cards to their Wachovia accounts this week, allowing them to run out of money much quicker.

Download Downer
The University announced it will limit file sharing on the campus network. Students will now be forced to buy their porn the old-fashioned way.

For the Love of Money
Officials this week confirmed that the Carolina First Campaign had raised more than $1 billion. This can only mean one thing: caviar burgers at Lenoir!

Tar Heel Quotables

"I didn't see him until he flew over my hood. I'm a new driver, so I really didn't know what to do."
Will Stanley
Whose car struck a bicyclist last Friday. Tip: When you see someone fly over your hood, stop the car.

"I was looking for some new challenges."
Music Librarian Philip Vandermeer
On overseeing the University's music collection in flood-prone Hill Hall. Hope you brought your galoshes, Phil.

"It's not much use if the barn doors are open, and the cows are out."
University Registrar David Lanier
On keeping students from taking classes for which they do not have prerequisites. Wait, they're letting cows register? No wonder we can't get into Psychology 10.

"It really shows how much technology moves today."
Freshman Lawrence Orr
Commenting on the upcoming My UNC Web site. Just let us know when we get our holographic T.A.s and jetpacks.

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Special Print Edition
The Daily Tar Heel Victory Paper for February 5, 2024