Clef Hanger Ticket Scandal Uncovered
Rumors are running rampant that ticket distribution for tonight's Clef Hanger concert is rigged. Hordes of adoring fans were disappointed when they discovered that their tickets were for the balcony or mezzanine sections.
"This is crazy!" said an underclassman in a tight-fitting pink halter top. "I was 18th in line when tickets went on sale in the Pit on Monday. And now, I'm like, in the far back or something."
Her anger was made evident by her standard issue 2 1/2 inch silver hoops that smacked her face every time she tossed her hair.
Traditionally, the Clef Hangers reserve the first couple of rows for family and friends. This year, row `R' was the first available public seat, meaning upward of 500 seats were reserved for the performance by the 16-member, all-male a cappella group.
Infuriated, several female groupies lodged a complaint with the ever-capable Student Congress, demanding the creation of a new "Clef Code" seating policy.
Not even Ward Davis' randy rendition of "Can't Take My Eyes Off of You" could stop the ladies from demanding a bracelet system, complete with scanned UNC ONE Cards, and a 6 a.m. line check for the next distribution of Clef tickets.
When reached for comment, a Clef Hangers spokesman said, "What the f*#$ are you talking about?"
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