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The Daily Tar Heel

Expansion Excitement Hits ACC

After all, no one is happier about the conception of the Houston Texans than the Jacksonville Jaguars, which will doubtless be spared a last-place finish in a difficult division.

So maybe if Baddour could convince the ACC to expand, the Tar Heels could avoid their first-ever last-place finish.

But who should be the new doormat? Who would willingly put themselves in position to get stomped on by Duke and Maryland week after week?

It will have to be a school that currently doesn't have a basketball program. A school that is ready to make the leap to the big-time. A school like Fayetteville Technical Community College. Where better than Fayetteville -- a city filled with strip clubs and crime, the laughingstock of North Carolina -- to be the host of the laughingstock of the ACC?

With the NFL's expansion draft today, ACC teams might start thinking about who they'd want to leave unprotected should expansion fever strike.

Clemson would surely leave coach Larry Shyatt unprotected. Shyatt's angry outburst at Duke's Dahntay Jones last month was further evidence of his instability. Maybe UNC coach Matt Doherty can call a timeout in the middle of Shyatt's farewell press conference -- to "savor the moment."

N.C. State would choose not to protect guard Anthony Grundy. Sure, he's the team's leading scorer and rebounder. But if State wants anyone to start taking it seriously, it needs to shed its social-miscreant image. With the cloud of charges that he assaulted a woman last winter still hanging over Grundy's head, he simply does not fit that new, clean-cut Wolfpack mold. He's out.

Florida State would make center Nigel "Big Jelly" Dixon available. Why? Quite simply, there aren't enough donuts in Tallahassee for Dixon and FSU football coach Bobby Bowden to co-exist.

Duke would leave Dick Vitale unprotected. The ABC/ESPN sportscaster must be annoying Blue Devil point guard Jason Williams by spraying him with spittle in his many excited ramblings about how Williams is as good as any point guard in America, college or pro. But even more than that, Duke wants to prove that it can, in fact, recruit quality players without the huge publicity machine that is Vitale. Sorry, Dickie V. You're heading to Fayetteville.

Georgia Tech would leave Australian center Luke Schenscher unprotected. The Yellow Jackets just want to nip controversy in the bud -- they know very well that it's only a matter of time before it is discovered that Schenscher didn't actually serve as the mayor of Sydney, like he stated in his biography.

Virginia would make head coach Pete Gillen available because, let's face it -- there is no coach in college basketball that gets fewer results out of a talented team than Gillen. They're quick, athletic and strong, but the Cavaliers will undoubtedly cave in the first or second round of the NCAAs like they do every year. Gillen is the one constant in UVa.'s annual collapses, so he's got to go.

Finally, North Carolina would ask one question -- is it still possible to leave Neil Fingleton unprotected? No? Then the Tar Heels could expose just about anyone on their roster to the draft. With so many underachievers to choose from, there remains just one obvious candidate: Bill Guthridge.

The man who wreaked havoc on the UNC basketball program with two horrendous recruiting crops is still on the payroll, raking in $87,748 a year. That's a pretty expensive advisor for an athletic program that already employs the legendary Dean Smith as a consultant.

So we offer one piece of advice to Guthridge to prepare him for Fayetteville: don't pick fights with drunken GIs, and you'll do just fine.

Aaron Fitt can be reached at fitt@email.unc.edu.

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