Saying Vows Before Earning Degrees

But some couples decide to marry before they even get a diploma.

Julie Pruden, a sophomore education major, met her fiance, Michael Sullivan, last winter and they began dating after Winter Break.

Pruden and Sullivan, a junior English major who plans on getting his master's degree in education so he can teach high school English, are both Christians and are active in Campus Crusade for Christ.

Pruden said they talked about their relationship on their first date and agreed that they wanted to date to get married, not just date to date. "What's the point of dating if you aren't heading towards marriage?" Pruden asked.

Sullivan and Pruden dated for nine months before Sullivan proposed during a Labor Day vacation trip to his aunt's home in Atlanta, Pruden said.

"We sat down in this nice sitting room, and he just started saying all these beautiful things," Pruden said. "But he always says beautiful things, so I didn't think anything of it."

Then Sullivan reached behind his back and pulled out the ring.

Sullivan and Pruden have set the wedding date for July 20. They plan to live in married student housing in Odum Village next year.

Pruden said they have spent most of their time preparing for marriage rather than the wedding. They attended their first session of premarital counseling on Friday, and they have been reading books about marriage, talking to married couples for advice and praying, she said.

"Marriage is so much deeper and so much more beautiful than people make it out to be," Pruden said.

Pruden said she and her fiance realize that being married while still in school full time will take sacrifices from both sides, but they agree that the sacrifices will be worthwhile.

While some people worry these sacrifices can be too much for young couples, Professor Jan Boxill said it can be good for students to make a commitment rather than just continuing to date for years. Philosophy professors Bernard and Jan Boxill met while they were in school at the University of California at Los Angeles. He was a philosophy graduate student from St. Lucia, and she was a political science undergraduate attending school on the GI Bill.

"After two weeks we knew we were going to get married," she said.

Jan said they had no money and that 99 percent of their dates were in the library, in the sculpture garden or at a baby-sitting job together to earn extra money. They met Sept. 15, 1965, and were married Jan. 29, 1966. The Boxills have two grown daughters. One is at Harvard Law School, and the other is an editor in New York.

Jan said the key to their marriage is communication and a shared vision.

She said they have always worked out their differences. "Bernie and I have never fought. Ever."

Boxill said she thinks couples who get married are more likely to stay together than those who just date or live together.

"If we hadn't gotten married, the little things that annoyed me would have become big things, and we wouldn't have stayed together," she said. "If you just hang around, you will find differences. If you get married, you've made a commitment."