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The Daily Tar Heel

Write-In Candidate for Student Body President Offers His Platform

Nathan Katzin here, write in candidate for student body president. I figured since The Daily Tar Heel won't be allowed to formally endorse me or print my platform -- even though I've been active and serious at every forum -- I deserve a little back page space.

I came to this school in 1998 -- well, scroll backwards -- I was born on March 20, 1980. My dad would tap three times on my mom's stomach during her pregnancy, and when I came out he tapped me three times on the shoulder. That's how I recognized him. I was a quiet kid, into bird watching and then video games. Video games made me fat, and being fat kept me from getting nookie and a good lunch table position -- so I got funny. I read a lot, mainly fantasy novels and comics. In ninth grade I got skinny, and by 12th grade I was cool. Not top echelon cool, but cool enough to have a lot of people yell a slang version of my name when I walked into a party. I kept reading. My favorite book is probably "War and Peace," and my favorite movie is "Willow" (for the obvious reason that it is an awesome movie.) I played in a band. My best friend got shot, and another friend broke his neck after a show. I felt like death was close. There was some point I was chasing.

I went to Chapel Hill because it was good and cheap. I studied poetry and philosophy and got wasted at the Treehouse. The mix wasn't so good. I got disillusioned with education and mass media. I dropped out and worked as a freelance writer. I wanted to change a lot of things, but I felt useless. I traveled up and down the East Coast drunk on Radiohead lyrics and anti-depressants. I came back to school.

This is where it gets tricky. I learned how to navigate myself. I got a fundamental belief in communication. I like attention. I don't mind being a clown, as long as I'm not an idiot.

The two most pressing issues of our generation are campaign finance reform and Progressive Energy Reform. Both have reached a tipping point. I am focusing on Energy Reform. (Been hot for February, ain't it?) Carolina is multimillion dollar machine that with effort and intelligence could produce something more than degrees and basketball. Give the communication department and the business school something to do. Let the philosophy students back up their navel gazing with articulate speech and athletes help with publicity. I have a plan.

The University is the last gateway at the end of childhood. Yours and mine. We need real issues as the context for considering who we are and where we are going. I'll have the runner-up take care of campus parking -- he'll probably do a better job as everyone else and a better job than me.

Nathan Katzin
The length rule was waived.

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