Can't Blame Weak Picks On Mother

As fast as it makes heroes out of no-name players with hard-to-spell names (Wally Szczerbiak, c'mon in; Harold Arceneaux, nice to see you), it makes goats out of the game's best (Chris Webber, how are you? Jason Williams, we reserved your spot Thursday).

And it can make a coach age years within a matter of hours.

After Duke's loss to Indiana, the oft-eloquent Mike Krzyzewski seemed a bit out of it in the post-game press conference.

When asked if he was surprised his team lost, Coach K sounded more like a cranky old man than one of college basketball's great minds when he replied, "I'm 55 years old, and I need a hip replacement."

And the Madness is no respecter of persons, warping even the (ahem) most regarded minds in the game.

After telling the world on Selection Sunday that Southern California might be the only team that could beat Duke, a certain ESPN analyst did a 180 just days later when UNC-Wilmington upset the Trojans. "I love the way the Seahawks play," he said. "They're well-coached, and I love (UNC-W guard Brett) Blizzard. He's a PTP'er."

Behold the power of the Madness.

The Final Four is set, and the only surprise is the Hoosiers of Indiana. Kansas, Maryland and Oklahoma round out the teams which hope to be in the spotlight next Monday when CBS plays 'One Shining Moment'.

This year more than ever, the Madness got me, and my bracket looks like someone bled red ink all over it.

For the first time in recent memory, I correctly picked only one Final Four team -- Maryland, which I picked to win it all. Many of my picks never made it past the first weekend.

Not only did I pick USC to beat the Blue Devils on its way to the national championship game, but I also overlooked Oklahoma and picked Oregon to beat Kansas (I still think Roy Williams' teams choke in the clutch).

But rather than blame my prognasticative shortcomings on being bitten by the underdog bug, I placed the blame where it belonged: on heredity.

To get to the root of the problem, I called my mom, who with the exception of the Pittsburgh Steelers, doesn't pay much attention to sports.

But come tourney time, she shines.

In 2000, she picked three of the Final Four, including Wisconsin, and missed only Florida because, "I won't pick any place Steve Spurrier has been."

This year, her big pick was UNC-W over USC. Her rationale? "Something good had to come out of UNC."

See what I have to work with here.

Interested in her Final Four thoughts, I asked her to analyze the matchups.

Indiana-Oklahoma. The pick: OU.

All Mike Davis does is whine and cry. I couldn't even tell you who's on OU, but if I don't like the coach, I won't pick the team.

Mom, do you think Bobby Knight's ghost will come back to haunt Indiana?

I sure hope so. I still like Bobby Knight. He's a no-nonsense coach, and you can't really have those anymore.

So, what will the difference be?

It'll be a close game. Jared Jeffries - he's the really good one with the afro, right? It's too bad he plays for Indiana. He'll make the game close, but Oklahoma wins, 62-59.

Kansas-Maryland. The pick: Kansas.

My money's on Drew Gooden and Kansas. No offense to Gary Williams, but I like Ray Williams ... I mean Roy. Kansas wins, 75-70.

OK, you've got a rematch of the Big 12 tourney final, which the Sooners won. Who wins the NCAA title?

It's Kansas' year.

Do you think Williams' previous two Final Four failures will play a role?

Third's a charm, if I can use one of those stupid analogies. Kansas will win 82-75, cut down the nets and put on those little hats.

Thanks, mom.

Ben DeSantis can be reached at bennyd@email.unc.edu.