Green and Lee Lose Comedic Credibility in Silly 'Stealing'

"Stealing Harvard"

1 Star

"Stealing Harvard" is unmistakably bad -- and not even bad in a funny way, but in a desperate, pathetic, painful way.

It's so bad that you will want to find its actors on the street and just shake some sense into them.

And it's a crying shame, too -- star Jason Lee ("Mallrats," "Almost Famous") has worked steadily to become the rare kind of quirky, comic actor who can garner laughs from a smirk rather than a pratfall. However, that talent alone can't salvage either his performance or the film from the horrid ambiguity of Peter Tolan's screenplay or Bruce McCulloch's (TV's "Kids in the Hall") directing decisions.

Tom Green plays, as usual, the goofy, crude best friend, but his lines are forced and insincere. Green does have the capacity to be funny, but the script must be tailored to his marginal strengths.

The script, which appears to be the product of some lackadaisical 48-hour cram session, is at the root of the problem.

John Plummer (Lee) and girlfriend, Elaine (Leslie Mann), have finally saved $30,000 to go towards a "starter home" -- Leslie's prerequisite for marriage. Despite turmoil between John and Elaine's father (Dennis Farina), all is well. Then the bomb drops.

Plummer's white-trash sister Patty (Megan Mullally) reminds him of an off-hand comment made 10 years back promising his niece that, if she was accepted, he would pay for her college education. Well, she gets into Harvard and the cost, after financial aid, is -- hold your breath -- $30,000.

Plummer turns to his friend Duff (Green), a landscaper who sells beer to underage kids in his free time. Duff and Plummer then embark on several shenanigans to steal the money. While these scenes are meant to be "wacky," they end up bland and awkward for both the audience and the actors on screen.

One instance finds Plummer trying to break into a rich widower's mansion -- instead he is caught and forced to cross-dress and to spoon with the dirty old man. Putting Jason Lee in a blonde wig is an insult to him as an actor and a major gaffe by any director who thinks this scene would work.

Lee as the straight man and Green as the kooky best friend is an ultimately wasteful formula. Both actors have proven to be funny so it's nonsensical to utilize only Green's talent. The few comic scenes of the film arise from the dialogue between the two, not the ridiculous situations in which they are placed by McCulloch's lackluster vision.

It's hard to imagine Green and Lee being satisfied with this tired film -- a worn-out copy of a copy of a copy. And though a lot of viewers might really want "Stealing Harvard" to succeed, it doesn't, and it should fade away with a complete and utter quickness.

And even that won't happen -- at least not before it appears on more than a handful of "Worst of 2002" lists.

The Arts & Entertainment Editor can be reached at artsdesk@unc.edu.