The Daily Tar Heel
Printing news. Raising hell. Since 1893.
Monday, Oct. 2, 2023 Newsletters Latest print issue

We keep you informed.

Help us keep going. Donate Today.
The Daily Tar Heel

kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain.

Hey Wilcox: Why don’t you try “natural male enhancement” pills for a bit while I mull over the so-called “natural female enhancement” of heels and make-up?

To my girlfriend: When I said, “dinner on me,” I meant I’d pay for our meal; it was NOT a cue for you to send me texts about eating food off my body.

C-TOPS should offer a session for incoming freshmen on “Proper Use and Abuse of UNC Listservs.”

Five arrested Greeks = five fewer teal shirts in the stands Saturday. Thanks, Chapel Hill Police!

Dear girl I ran screaming at: I am sorry. You are obviously not the person the scream and hug were meant for. Please don’t drop out.

To the guy who licked his Zone Bar wrapper in class for a good five minutes on Tuesday: I think you got it all.

Teriyaki chicken with fried rice is Native American? Really, Lenoir?

To the white boy in the inappropriately short chino shorts and the pastel colored oxford: Not you, the other one … Oh no, wait … There are a THOUSAND of you.

Really, gay pride. A unicorn? Why not a dragon? At least that fake animal is FIERCE!

Is it possible for someone hot and awesome to be asexual? And if so, why, God, why?!

ENST 202 professor: I have no idea what you’re lecturing about — just take your clothes off already.    

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to dthedit@gmail.come, subject line ‘kvetch.’

To get the day's news and headlines in your inbox each morning, sign up for our email newsletters.