The Daily Tar Heel
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The Daily Tar Heel

Nobel committee

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In case you missed it, this guy named Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize last week. Come on, Nobel committee, if you like Obama so much, why don’t you marry him?

Olympia Snowe

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Sen. Olympia Snowe, R-Maine, was the only Republican in the Senate Finance Committee to vote for the health care bill. Sorry, Sen. Snowe, Obama’s already engaged to the Nobel committee.

Rifle club

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The Tar Heel Rifle and Pistol Club allocation from Student Congress. Guns are controversial. We’d oppose this, but they’re already getting the ammunition and we’re a little scared of people with guns.

H1N1 beer pong

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College officials have warned that H1N1 can be easily transmitted by beer pong. If H1N1 is an excused absence, and beer pong can increase your chances of contracting it … 10 cup tonight, anyone?

Lenior Hall

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Lenoir has been handing out an unusual amount of styrofoam plates and cups recently. Always looking to put a sustainable spin on things, UNC reportedly requested the styrofoam dyed green …

Burnt hair

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Strands of Michael Jackson’s hair singed off in a commercial in 1984 are now for sale. WTF. We’d advise that whoever decides to drop thousands on this should take a good look at the man in the mirror.
 

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