kvetch: v.1 (Yiddish) to complain
Dear hipsters: Why do you pay so much money to look poor?
To the P2P guy who was so drunk that he started hitting on himself in the mirror: Enough said.
@UNCBasketballPlayers: A little less tweeting, a little more practice.
DTH weather forecasters: 41 degrees and 21 degrees are well below “average,” much like your readership.
My SOCI 101 class started with a reading about how terrible SOCI 101 classes are. This won’t end well.
To the man-child next to me in the black loafers and white high socks on your Game Boy: You don’t have to pound the wall every time Pikachu dies.
This no-texting-while-driving thing is really cramping my style. At least I can still pick my nose and drive.
Dear Lenoir: After successfully sneaking into you for the first time this semester, all I want to do is sneak back out.
To the person who left the unopened BSkis bag on the P2P Sunday evening: Thank you. You provided three friends some good midnight snacking.
To the girl running up the down escalator in Lenoir: I’m sure the cookie was worth it.
In response to the e-mail sent to students about updating registration info: Why would I need to update my ethnicity?
Dear mystery hot girl from CHEM 102: You are so beautiful and so very, very stupid.
To the worker at Top of Lenoir who pulled out a fat stack of cash and started counting it: Why are you still working there?
Dear girl in the Union shamelessly eavesdropping on our conversation about kvetches: Congratulations, you’re in one.
To the random guy in the cafeteria who aimed and pretended to shoot me with his banana: Thank you. I feel loved. Should I play dead now?
To the beautiful, smart girl on the fourth floor of Davis: You are perfect. But please, stop eating Lunchables.
Send your one-to-two sentence entries to email@example.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’
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