The Daily Tar Heel

Serving the students and the University community since 1893

Friday September 30th

Kvetching board for Jan. 29, 2010


v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To English majors that complain about having to take two math classes: I’m a chemistry major who needs 15 courses in social science and humanities. Live with it.

Dear annoying whistler in Davis: Are you related to the Arboretum whistler?

To the graduate students in Davis talking loudly about game theory while I am trying to study: My tuition pays you to talk during the recitation you fail to prepare for.

To the girl saved in my phonebook as “drunk kelly:” Who are you!?

To the Lenoir employee at the urinal: Four shakes is enough. Especially when you decide you don’t have time to wash your hands on the way back to work.

Murphey: Why does your staircase always smell like a swimming pool?

Dear Morrison: I don’t need to a see a picture of a three-foot-tall sperm to understand what condoms are used for.

To Rams Head Dining Hall: Thanks for the food poisoning on Sunday. I’ve lost more weight eating with you than I have with my New Year’s resolution.

To the UNC blackboards: Why won’t you erase properly?!

To the girl at the Wake game who was uploading Facebook pictures of her dog from the student section: You are a disgrace to the Tar Heel name.

To the mysterious boy who came to my floor looking for me and asked my roommate where I was: Who are you, what do you want, and why do you know where I live?

To the girl who tricked the professor into typing in and pulling up a porn site in Mormonism class: Pervert.

Dear girl with the long black socks in the Student Union: The State of the Union was great, but I stayed for the Republican response to talk to you.

Kvetcher who commented on Obama’s lack of messiah status: Man, I wish I’d known this BEFORE I’d stopped my ritual animal sacrifices.

Dear mysterious 80-year-old man in my first year seminar: Who ARE you, and why are you here?

Just once I’d like to pick up the DTH and see: ‘Controversial Speaker Coming to Campus, Student Body Open-minded’ as a headline for an article.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to, subject line ‘kvetch.’

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