The Daily Tar Heel
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Thursday, March 28, 2024 Newsletters Latest print issue

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The Daily Tar Heel

Salinger legacy

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If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where Salinger was born and what his lousy childhood was like. But we’ll just tell you that this reclusive author will be missed.

GDP growth

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In the first substantial growth since the gilded age, GDP rose last quarter by 5.7 percent. Economists tell us it might not last, but let’s take advantage of it while we can. Wait, we’re all still unemployed.

Snow

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Chapel Hill is recovering from the blizzard of the decade. When things were really looking hopeless,  Chapel Hill Mayor Mark Kleinschmidt swooped to the rescue and declared a state of emergency. Problem solved? 

Ben Bernanke

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Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke was confirmed to a second term. His policies might have prevented a depression. It seems the balder you are, the more stellar economist you happen to be. And Bernanke’s doing all right on that count.

Obama and the BCS

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Obama has announced plans to look into the legality of the Bowl Championship Series. Maybe that Nobel Peace Prize was premature. Here’s his chance to earn it. Once he solves this world crisis, then he’ll clearly be worthy. 

Hookah citation

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Some lame Joe filed an anonymous smoking complaint against Chapel Hill’s Hookah Bliss. Whoever did this is probably a little uptight. He should relax and smoke some shisha. We know a great place for that… 

 

 

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