Kvetching board for March 26, 2010

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

It’s been so much harder to have sex in Davis Library after they raised the doors and installed bigger windows.

To the couple watching a foreign film and picking each other’s scalps in Kenan’s lounge: WTF?

To the girls who screamed and waved condoms at us out of a car: Yes, we accept these advances.

To the guy playing the Taylor Swift songs on the ukulele in Polk Place on Friday: You belong with me.

Spider-Man: While you were out protecting the world from all things evil, you left your toothbrush in Lewis Dorm.

To the girls urinating outside Kenan Labs on Saturday night: Stay classy.

To the girl on the quad Saturday studying for the MCAT who said, “I think I’ve been drunk more than I’ve been to class this week”:  Please don’t ever be my doctor.

To the guy with the Eraserhead haircut in Davis: Awesome.

Dear fellow males bathed in Axe body wash, deodorant, shampoo, and cologne: It works. I want to have sex with you. Now let’s see if any girls do.

To the people in the third floor lounge of Craige North: Naked studying?

Overheard in the Union: “I tried to tell her about God and she nexted me. I’m bringing the gospel to Chatroulette.”

Dear treadmill girl: Did I really see you bring in your laptop and put it on the treadmill so that you could listen to iTunes while you worked out?

Dear Joe Biden: You are officially a BAMF.

To every male sitting shirtless in the back of his pickup truck in the parking lot of Chapel Ridge trying to get a tan: You’re a tool.

To the couple who had sex in Cobb lobby: We know it was Wednesday, but did you have to take hump day literally?

To whoever studies in the UL with a pencil eraser that sounds like a guinea pig: It was funny at first, but now it’s just freaking me out.

To the girls making bird noises while looking up at the roof of Hanes Art Center: The pigeons on top of the building are not real, so therefore, they will not respond to your bird calls.  Sorry.

To the person who farted in PSYC class: We all heard you.

To the guy shooting people with a banana “gun”: Hilarious. But do you get to do any of that in bed?

Having all these fourth- and fifth-grade kids here visiting campus is seriously cramping my swearing.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to dthedit@gmail.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’