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The Daily Tar Heel

Kvetching board for March 26, 2010


v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

It’s been so much harder to have sex in Davis Library after they raised the doors and installed bigger windows.

To the couple watching a foreign film and picking each other’s scalps in Kenan’s lounge: WTF?

To the girls who screamed and waved condoms at us out of a car: Yes, we accept these advances.

To the guy playing the Taylor Swift songs on the ukulele in Polk Place on Friday: You belong with me.

Spider-Man: While you were out protecting the world from all things evil, you left your toothbrush in Lewis Dorm.

To the girls urinating outside Kenan Labs on Saturday night: Stay classy.

To the girl on the quad Saturday studying for the MCAT who said, “I think I’ve been drunk more than I’ve been to class this week”:  Please don’t ever be my doctor.

To the guy with the Eraserhead haircut in Davis: Awesome.

Dear fellow males bathed in Axe body wash, deodorant, shampoo, and cologne: It works. I want to have sex with you. Now let’s see if any girls do.

To the people in the third floor lounge of Craige North: Naked studying?

Overheard in the Union: “I tried to tell her about God and she nexted me. I’m bringing the gospel to Chatroulette.”

Dear treadmill girl: Did I really see you bring in your laptop and put it on the treadmill so that you could listen to iTunes while you worked out?

Dear Joe Biden: You are officially a BAMF.

To every male sitting shirtless in the back of his pickup truck in the parking lot of Chapel Ridge trying to get a tan: You’re a tool.

To the couple who had sex in Cobb lobby: We know it was Wednesday, but did you have to take hump day literally?

To whoever studies in the UL with a pencil eraser that sounds like a guinea pig: It was funny at first, but now it’s just freaking me out.

To the girls making bird noises while looking up at the roof of Hanes Art Center: The pigeons on top of the building are not real, so therefore, they will not respond to your bird calls.  Sorry.

To the person who farted in PSYC class: We all heard you.

To the guy shooting people with a banana “gun”: Hilarious. But do you get to do any of that in bed?

Having all these fourth- and fifth-grade kids here visiting campus is seriously cramping my swearing.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to, subject line ‘kvetch.’

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