v.1 (Yiddish) to complain
Socialists, I would love to read your newspaper, but isn’t making me pay for it a little bourgeois?
To the guy I hooked up with last week that drives the black Hummer, I wish you were as big as your car.
Dear body hair police: If I want to braid my armpit hair, I will.
Go gay! Join the 10 percent of campus that actually knows how to have a good time!
I’m missing sleep like our football team is missing players.
To the girl in my recitation whose name is Berkeley but goes by her middle name Madison, Please say your last name isn’t Amherst.
Dear Chi Phi pledge: we are glad your brothers enjoy “reverse cowgirl and morning BJs” and think “women aren’t supposed to drive.” P.S. Do you want your pledge notebook back?
To all varsity athletes who don’t do their homework, At least make sure it looks like your handwriting.