Kvetching board for November 19, 2010

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

To the girl who threw up into her own Ugg last night: Congratulations. You just created the ultimate Kvetch.

My roommate just kissed her last clean pair of underwear and then combed her leg hair. Should I be worried?

Dear girl in ANTH 146: You need social counseling. Last week you talked about pimple juices and having gas. This week you analyzed the flawed social structure of the 4 houses in Harry Potter.

To all females: You got accepted into UNC. Surely you should know how to flush a toilet.

Hipsters on bikes without brakes — Darwinism at its best.

To my hallmates, who decided to cut gaping genital peepholes in every shower curtain on our hall: If you wanted to see some naked guys, there are much subtler options.

To the guy in anatomy, you go to a school that is 60% women. It’s sad that you are desperate enough to be on Match.com during class.

To my RA, when your girlfriend is in the room, and you step outside in nothing but boxers and switch your door sign to “studying,” who do you think you’re fooling?

Seven Books: $100. Movie tickets: $60. Not understanding anyone’s excitement about the new Harry Potter because your parents never allowed books about “witchcraft”… priceless.

To the girl who sat behind me during the basketball game shouting “Go Ty!” every time Larry Drew touched the ball: I wish Ty was still out there too, but we all have to move on at some point.

Quick Hits Editor: We BSBAs may be snarky, but at least we know it’s résumés, not resumes. I can only assume you abbreviated it “info” because you couldn’t spell the rest of the word.

To whoever reported us for making s’mores on the Morrison balcony, we’re roasting you next.

Just saw a blind student using the crosswalk with the aid of a walking stick. If he can do it you can too.

To the women’s basketball team players who frequent the restaurant where I work: Don’t think we don’t notice how you never tip, no matter how many Spicy Crunchy Shrimp rolls you order.

To the Quote File: You are going to be the official “That’s what she said” column.

Dear Roommate: No matter how you try to spin it, when someone tells you that they are impressed that you are confident enough to go out dressed like that, it is not a good thing.

To the sweetheart who left me her entire bottle of Adderrall in the Davis 4th floor study room: Thank you! Sincerely, Chem Crammer.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to editdesk@unc.edu, subject line ‘kvetch.’