Kvetching board for December 3, 2010

kvetch:

v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Rick Ingram already has a rick4sbp listserv? Sounds like UNC student government should be WikiLeaks’ next target.

To the couple who helped me after I flicked them off and tried to steal their parking space: I wish I was half as good a person as you two are.

Today, you drink sweet soda from the clear water-only cups of the Bottom of Lenoir. Tomorrow, deceitful friend, you fill your cup at Hell’s lake of fire.

Thanks ITS — giving me a loaner laptop with no battery, an unauthorized copy of Windows and no Microsoft Word totally makes up for selling me a laptop with a faulty hard drive.

Dear DTH, Last week’s cube incident was only half a victory for free speech, thanks to your ever so one-sided articles.

To the women of UNC: Please quit sleeping with the basketball team until they start
winning. They need some motivation.

Jaywalking costs $166 now? Why would you punish an effective time management skill on a college campus?

Dear hammered field hockey girls at He’s Not: My karaoke choice of “This Love” by Maroon 5 was not an invitation for you to wrestle the mic from me to do your own interpretation.

To the Clef Hanger sitting next to me at the Blank Canvas recital: Just because you can sing doesn’t give you the right to laugh at the dancers from the third row.

To the cute boy I always make eye contact with in Poli 100: Let’s study some bipartisanship.

All right State. Double or nothing in men’s basketball, women’s basketball, men’s soccer, women’s soccer, field hockey, volleyball, swimming, track, academics, checkers, partying or quality of women. Your pick.

To the girl I saw brushing her teeth in the UL at 1 in the morning: I somewhat envy your dedication to academics.
To the girl who put an ad for her iPod in the DTH, finders keepers.

To the guy who comes into the room awkwardly and stays when nobody wants you there: Please go away so we can start making fun of you behind your back again.

Dear vocal music majors: you major in being obnoxious. Please practice in the practice rooms and not in my life.

To the guy in Rams Head putting waffle batter on his mashed potatoes: I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that it was NOT a gravy dispenser.

To the girl in my Music class carrying a Gryffindor sword in her bag the day of the Harry Potter 7 premiere: You just became about 10 times hotter to me.

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to editdesk@unc.edu, subject line ‘kvetch.’