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On Friday, the president’s 18-member, bipartisan deficit commission failed to get the 14 votes it required to send its plan to Congress, though it still had majority support with 11 votes.

Former UNC-system president Erskine Bowles co-chaired the panel with one of the most colorful conservative counterparts you could have — former U.S. Sen. Alan Simpson, R-Wyo. I’ll bet it was never a dull meeting with a guy who, on the issue of Social Security spending (with Medicare accounting for $468 billion of federal spending), recently said, “We’ve reached a point now where it’s like a milk cow with 310 million tits!”

The panel has been an interesting case study of compromise, though it has flown under the radar this past year. The panel discussed compromise in a financial context, ultimately proposing to cut $4 trillion from the budget during the next decade. Three-quarters of the cuts come from trimmed spending and the other fourth from eliminated tax breaks and higher taxes.

With Obama struggling to quickly reach out to Republicans before they seize control of the House, perhaps another panel should mold a bigger plan going beyond budgetary issues.

Frame it however you want to coerce congressmen into accepting the idea (manipulating them is not difficult). Assemble a bipartisan group and tell them to play a political platform version of fantasy football, where they draft and trade planks in a hypothetical scenario.

Here’s how I could see it working out, starting with what Republicans receive. They get to cut and reduce spending programs, especially those related to aid and handouts, and put more restrictions on how long people can receive unemployment and welfare. Cut Social Security and Medicare/Medicaid spending. Pass tort reform to decrease what doctors and hospitals have to bill in the first place.

Hire some auditors, and make people fear defrauding programs. Medicare fraud eats up at least $60 billion per year and in South Florida is now more lucrative than the cocaine industry, according to “60 Minutes.”

Basically, people should expect some financial tough love. Save money. Don’t spend it on crap. Stay healthy. Try and sacrifice more before the safety net kicks in.

Democrats, as part of this fantasy mammoth compromise, would receive a number of affordable, more social concessions. “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” and general restrictions on gay rights — gone. Studies show how much gay weddings and adoptions by gay couples can pump into the economy; it’s like Adam and Steve pay you if they can get married and adopt a child.

Also, nix bogus subsidies and tax breaks for large corporations (i.e., oil subsidies), and add tougher financial regulations.

Finally, Glenn Beck has to admit that human-induced climate change is real. In fishnet stockings. At a gay pride parade. In front of all his followers. Fine, I’ll concede those conditions. Most conditions.

The left and right would both give and take. They would get something done. It all sounds simple, sure. The consequences are dire for failing to do something so simple.

We’re left gridlocked, unhappy and no better off.

Sam Perkins is an At-Large Columnist columnist for The Daily Tar Heel. He is a second-year marine sciences graduate student from Charlotte. Email him at ssperkin@email.unc.edu.

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