v.1 (Yiddish) to complain
I wish my boyfriend was as bold as the foot fondler.
To the girl who said “Trying to find a job is like trying to find a decent guy in Chapel Hill”, I’ve got a job that will help both of your problems. You set yourself up for this one.
To Michael Jordan who I saw hanging out at the Washington Duke hotel this weekend: blue cups on me at He’s Not tonight.
To the girl who can’t find a “decent” guy, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard if you weren’t so focused on your career…
To the guy who predicted the Day of Rapture: if I got to reschedule as much as you do, I would have a 4.0 GPA.
When I agreed to sublease your room for the summer, you didn’t tell me you were also subleasing to cockroaches. Are they paying more or less than I am?
Dear ex-roomie, hope you learn hygiene habits while at home this summer. Brushing your teeth might be a good start.
To Alert Carolina: Thanks for keeping us updated on the tornado watch while I’m home in California but not telling us when there is a gun in my dorm.
To my sex friend: you finna take me on a real date?
To my waitress at Waffle House who kept talking about IHOP: are you a spy?
Send your one-to-two sentence entries to firstname.lastname@example.org, subject line ‘kvetch.’
To get the day's news and headlines in your inbox each morning, sign up for our email newsletters.