The Daily Tar Heel

Serving the students and the University community since 1893

Tuesday January 25th

Kvetching Board ™ for June 16, 2011

kvetch:
v.1 (Yiddish) to complain

Of all departments faced with budget cuts, Econ is hit the hardest. Oh the irony.

To the guy who wrote to the entire listserv about an “abnormal growth” on his “sensitive part,” next time please make up a less embarrassing excuse to get an extension on your schoolwork.

I’d like to commend the Office of Diversity and Multicultural Affairs. For once, I’m a racial minority at Carolina. Sincerely, your friendly WASP.

As soon as I graduate, the kvetch board falls to pieces. Sadly, this also mimics my ability to find drunken girls at bar close.

To the girl who kvetched last week that females at UNC ask themselves “where are all the babes” in reverse all year: What does that even mean? You ask yourself “babes the all are where?”

Why does the RHRC change from a paradise of young beauties to a dungeon of meatheads during the summer term?

To the student who used ‘freshman’ in a kvetch last week: forget gender neutral language, use ‘first year’ for the sake of Harry Potter.

To the douche freshman in last week’s kvetch: you’ll fit right in with the rest of the Greek system. Good job.

To the guy who works at the gym: When would be the appropriate time to advance this relationship from eye flirting to having an actual conversation?

Can you please ride the bus on days that I actually look nice?!

To the little boy visiting UNC on a class trip: If I ever saw LeBron James on campus I would kiss him and marry him too.

To all those complaining about your lack of options in Chapel Hill, try spending your summer stuck in my hometown.

To the birds that attacked me outside of Woollen, my workout is not an Alfred Hitchcock movie.

To the guy who buys snacks for Campus Rec, thanks for stockpiling enough raisins for the next 50 years. We’re out of Oreos.

Dear orientation kid, don’t call me “sweetie.” I have TWO degrees thanks!

Send your one-to-two sentence entries to opinion@dailytarheel.com, subject line ‘kvetch.’

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