Quickhits for Nov. 17, 2011

Siri is a UNC fan

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Apple’s new iPhone application,Siri, knows that you can’t get to heaven in a red canoe. Siri responds to “Tar” with an emphatic “Heels!” It might be time to take down the same call-and-response for “We are! Penn State.” (See below)

Sandusky’s interview

Jerry Sandusky had a chance to defend himself Monday in an interview with Bob Costas, but he dropped the ball yet again by saying he enjoys young people. A denial has never been quite so creepy.

Obama’s guest

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Friday’s Carrier Classic was an exclusive event, but Mayor Mark Kleinschmidt attended after being invited by President Barack Obama. If that isn’t an election congratulations present, we don’t know what is.

Men’s soccer

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UNC’s men’s soccer team is going into the NCAA tournament with the No. 1 overall seed. If everything goes as planned,the team could win its second-ever national championship. It’s time to kick some balls.

ECU’s umbrella gunman

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Campus gunmen aren’t normally a laughing matter. But on Wednesday, what was thought to be an assault rife under a man’s arm turned out to be an umbrella. Mary Poppins won’t be visiting ECU anytime soon.

Butch’s Youtube video

“CoachDavis15” posted a Youtube video Monday to “set the record straight” and tell his side of the story in UNC’s football scandal. If Butch’s orange skin glow hadn’t distracted us, we would have actually listened to him.